Generic Blues

I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin', like I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is tryin' to chew off my head
You know what I'm sayin'?

Well, I ain't got no money
I'm just walkin' down the road
Said I ain't got no money, honey
So I'm just walkin' down this lonely ol' road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code

I was born in a paper sack
In the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast
My family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress
My mama sold bathroom tile
My brothers and sisters all hated me
'Cause I was an only child
I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out, mama
Or maybe I'll, yeah maybe I'll just go bowlin' instead

I'm just a no-good, scum-sucking, nose-picking, boot-licking, sniveling, grovelling worthless hunk of slime
Nothin' but a low-down beer-bellied, bone-headed, pigeon-toed, turkey-necked, weasel-faced worthless hunk of slime
I guess I've got a pretty low self-image, maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I've got the time

[Solo]
Guitar!
Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
Okay, now make it shut up

Plagues and famine and pestilence
Always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable
Whenever I'm around
I wish somebody would come along
And stick a pitchfork through my brain
I'd flush myself right down the toilet
But I'd just clog up the drain
I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out, mama
Or maybe I'll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe I'll just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe I'll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid-lookin' shirt and go bowling...
Instead