Floozies

[COLLIN]
Whatcha doin'?
Maude, my ideal
Maude, my idol
Whatcha doin'?

Practicing hard on your violin
Napkin folded under your chin
I'm a rat, but when you play
My mind's a million miles away

All I ever think about is floozies
Beautiful exotic kind of floozies
Inside my brain
They sure can raise Cain
I watch' em Sundays
Hootchy-cootchin' in their undies

Every night I see parades of floozies
Imaginary harems full of doozies
Lying on my davenport
I pucker up and watch 'em salaam
Chump that I am
And I am!

If I ever touched a floozy
Wonder what she'd do
Aw, she'd grab me by the collar
Door'd slam
Wham!
And she'd holler:

"Stinky ugly good-for-nothin'
Stinky ugly good-for-nothin'
Scram! Amscray! Scram!
Scram! Amscray! Scram!"

Whole town'd listen to her
Call me a maniac
"Sex-fiend maniac
Scram"

I can tell just who's a floozy right off
Temptation is impossible to fight off
Inside my head
They climb in my bed
In secret rooms
I tiptoe barefoot over naked buzooms

Where are you, you sweet patooties
Finger-licky jam
Where are you, baby-face beauties
Hot damn
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
I'm not choosy

Floozy
Crazy
Monster
That I am
And I am
And I am!