Feel The Bern (When You Pee)

[Chorus]
Bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
Can you feel the bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
When you pee does it burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn
My hair is a fern, fern, fern, fern, fern, fern
Can I get a perm, perm, perm, perm, perm, perm
Do you feel the bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern

[Verse 1]
Yes, I am Jewish
My age is 102-ish
I would love to stay in schmooze, but
I must take my nap soon-ish
Our country is in a crisis
Look at my viagra prices
Please vote for me for President
I'll serve 'til three, then I rest again
Everyone will get free college
Even the African nig- what should one call it?
You'll get a car and a house, I'll give you sushi
I have a very weak bladder
I cannot control when I pee
Which would be fine if I could see
Ooo-ooo-ooooo
Can I pay for one decent cut of pastrami?

[Chorus]
Bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
Can you feel the bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
Some people earn, earn, earn, earn, earn, earn
All the money in the world, world, world, world, world, world
We would like money too, too, too, too, too, too
Vote for someone new, new, new, new, new, new
Can you feel the bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern

[Verse 2]
I don't like Wall Street
Where there's nothing good to eat
Not one single good deli
I will tax every last cent
'Til I can get some bagels and lentils
I will sue the Wall Street executives
That are not serving my people's food
I love cold cuts, this is true
I love matzo ball chicken soup
Is this too much to expect?
I would say "Fuck you!" if I could have sex

[Chorus]
Bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
Can you feel the bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
What's the deal with sperm, sperm, sperm, sperm, sperm?
Billions of them die, die, die, die, die
Only one gets a life, life, life, life, life
This is something I will fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight

[Verse 3]
You need someone go to vote for this November
I will vote if I remember
My doctor says I will not be dead by then
Hey, kids, would you like free school?
The old Jewish guy is suddenly cool
I must have fight with the young guys
I sometimes pee in a public pool
This whole country needs a fun
Drunk old crazy awesome grandpa
Run out and tell your friends
Old Bernie said the n-word again
Please vote for the only candidate
That raises all retirement to 110
Voting, voting, voting, voting, vote again
I believe you get two votes if you're pregnant
I gave equal rights to the black race
When I walked down the street with MLK
It was a nice day for a walk
Didn't know the schwarzers would burn down New York

[Chorus]
Bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
Can you feel the bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern
Now it's the old white man's turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn
Please watch and learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn
I boned Katharine Hepburn, burn, burn, burn, burn
Can you feel the bern, bern, bern, bern, bern, bern

[Outro]
Ooo-ooo-ooooo
My campaign is slapping around for months already!
Ooo-ooo-ooooo
When you pee does it burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn?
Ooo-ooo-ooooo
What's this whole mishigas with Hillary now?
I could've sworn she was already President years ago!