Facing the Globe

[Verse 1]
Well, I’m not like them other girls who only wanted to see the world
When I said "I need to see Uruguay," I meant with the skin on my goddamn face
And some folk think I'm creepy, some folks think I'm dumb as sin
But who's laughing now that I glued my face to this fuckin' globe again?

[Verse 2]
I went to school for as many years as it took to trick the teacher
I went for the whole four years it took, and buying globes is easier
And some folks think I'm stupid askin' when I'll go to school again
Well, who needs brains when I glued my face to this fuckin' globe again?

[Verse 3]
I wore my apple bottom jeans to the airport one fine day
I bought myself a one-way tickеt to get off that damn plane
And some think that'd bе cheaper or better for my facial skin
There's no room for a facial, I glued my face to this fuckin' globe again

[Bridge]
My daddy always told me "something something something truck"
And I agree, but please, grab the acetone, I'm stuck

[Verse 4]
I married me a rich man, a McNally kinda guy
Old Rand helped me get where I am, but he left and I can't cry
And there's superglue in my tear ducts and an ocean in my eyes
And then I smile as I realize, I glued my face to this fuckin' globe again
"Look - y'all are lucky I'm even bothering to try to sing this damn song, you know how hard it is to wedge a mic in here?"

[Verse 5]
Now I'm old and married to a lady named Ms. Earth (Ms. Earth!)
Well, that's what I named my globe, I even checked the Bible first
Some folks think I'm the devil, but King James said it ain't a sin
That I'm stuck real close to mobile on this fuckin' globe again
(Makin' my daddy proud)