Everything’s a Puzzle: a Professor Layton Song

PROF:
Everything’s a puzzle,
a mystery to me!
The shape of this toast, or
the taste of my tea!

Everything’s a riddle;
a quandary to solve!
I’ll best every test,
No matter what they involve!

We’ve got to use every clue;
till we deduce the final key!
We’ve got to plan every move
three steps ahead!

LUKE: I'm not sure you can do that…

PROF:
We’ve got to search evеry inch,
and do it mathematically!
Till we solve еvery riddle,
colossal or little,
by fiddling with things methodically!

LUKE: Professor, I don’t see how this is a puzzle-

PROF: Now now, Luke! Hop to it! That’s what a gentleman does!

LUKE: (to the cat) Don’t get used to this.

PROF:
Everything’s a puzzle!
And all that I see
awaits a solution
from someone like me!

Quantify this mayonnaise!
Finagle this cheese!
Triangulate pant-size
of this underwear please!

LUKE:
Professor, that’s well and good,
but really, have you lost your mind?
There are no puzzles to solve
beneath a skirt…

PROF: Quite astute of you!

We’ve got to crack every code,
decipher every glyph we find!
There’s no need for hints
with both our brains combined!

LUKE: Professor-

PROF:
Everything’s a puzzle!
I’m sure you’ll agree
that everything’s a puzzle
to me!

Everything’s a puzzle
to tinker and tweak!
To dig in and dissect
the source of mystique!

Every new enigma
proves veritably that
Everything’s a puz-zle
to me!