Escape from the Mooselodge

[Verse 1: Narrator]
GWAR, the once-mighty Scumdogs of the Universe
Wallow in the filth that their lives have become
Drug addicted, riddled with disease
They're not dogs, they're just scum
Could they get a chance to change their fate?
Destroy the things they love with hate?
Only time will tell

[Chorus: Oderus]
I'm sick of this damn planet and the sluts and the booze
I'd like to kill the Master, start turning screws
The sins of this planet have long grown stale
I need to kill on a galactic scale

[Verse 2: Narrator]
Forsaken by their master
GWAR constantly schemes
For a way to escape Earth
Fulfill their twisted dreams
Old men fly into space
GWAR cannot
This reoccurring pattern of failure
Has fucked with them a lot

[Chorus: Oderus]
Get me the hell out of dodge
I'll turn in my card at the mooselodge
But let me settle my account at Blockbuster
And bid fond adieu to my friend General Custer
I scream to the heavens to split open wide
And let loose torrents of death's ghastly tide
The power of chaos, there's no reason why
I need a way to make everybody die

[Bridge: Narrator]
The ancient legend of "The Time Bomb"
An alien artifact which supposedly chronicled all time's events
From the beginning to the end

If it could be discovered and deciphered by our bumbling anti-heroes
Then the end of the world would come

As to what this has to do with anything, I'm not really sure

[Oderus]
Out there, the power is growing and it's growing fast
Here, the only thing growing is my big fat ass
Sales are dropping, riffs are slopping
Can you smell the zits I'm popping?
What the hell can we do?

[Chorus]
We've done it all, I've humped God's nose
I've reeked of booze, I've cancelled shows
Became everything that I despised
And my own hell, I recognize
But there's just so many bohabs and they're always crowding 'round
Begging me to suckle them and tie their mothers down
I will kill their girlfriends, I will smoke their crack
I become the pimp-daddy, I become the mack
But everyday I'm doing it, I'm dying deep inside
But let me tell ya something, gonna give ya back your pride
So here's a little thought that I had the other day:
If we could blow the planet up, we would just float away

Away
Get away
Get away