Doppleganger

[Tag (over the black screen): "An SNL Digital Short"]

[Fade in on three guys in shirts and ties sitting on a sidewalk bench and eating their lunches]

SETH: [points] Oh, my God. That guy over there totally looks like you, Will.

WILL: What? Where?

SETH: Over there on the bench.

[CUT to Will standing with one foot on a sidewalk bench. He is dressed exactly the same except for a fake mustache]

WILL: That guy? No way, he doesn't look like me.

SETH: Doesn't that look like him?

ANDY: He looks like you.

SETH: I mean, you have to imagine him without the mustache, but he's a dead ringer.

WILL: Okay, I guess so. That's pretty good. Okay, Seth, I'm gonna try to find you.

SETH: Good luck.

[Will peers at passersby]

WILL: Boom. Right there. [points to left]

SETH: No, where?

WILL: Over there by the wall.

[Cut to Seth standing on the sidewalk and dressed exactly the same except for a top hat]

SETH: [with his mouth full] Oh, come on, that guy looks nothing like me.

WILL: Oh, my God, Andy, doеsn't that look like Seth?

ANDY: It looks like you.

SETH: What? That guy's got a big top hat, hе doesn't look anything like me.

WILL: Well, you gotta imagine him without the top hat. He's your doppelganger, man.

[Seth covers up the "lookalike's" top hat with two fingers]

SETH: I guess, you know–yeah, I see it. All right, let's do Andy.

WILL: Okay.

[They all scan the streets for a long moment]

SETH: [points] There he is.

WILL: [points] Wait, I got one too.

SETH: By the trash can?

WILL: Same one.

SETH: Yeah

WILL: Oh, my God, that is you, Andy.

[Cut to a street bum dressed in a green Army surplus jacket, bright red mittens, and jeans cut off at the calves]

ANDY: That guy?

SETH: Yeah, that guy.

ANDY: He doesn't look anything like me.

WILL: What, he looks exactly like you.

SETH: I mean, you gotta look past the gloves.

ANDY: Hey, it's not the gloves. That guy's a loser.

WILL: Fine, who do you think you'd look like?

ANDY: I don't know. [points to right] How about that guy?

[Cut to Andy standing against a wall and dressed exactly the same except for a bright green bandanna around his neck]

WILL: Yeah, that guy does not look anything like you. He's wearing a green bandanna around his neck.

SETH: Yeah, I know–the first guy, that guy's your twin.

ANDY: That guy...

[In disgust, Andy stands up and walks over next to the street bum]

ANDY: You think I look like this guy! [points at bum]

WILL: Well, not now, he's wearing those gloves.

ANDY: Okay, fine!

[Andy pulls off the bum's gloves and throws them to the ground. The bum stands idly]

ANDY: How about now?

[Seth and Will stand up and look bewildered]

SETH: Now I… now I can't tell 'em apart! Which one's Andy?

ANDY: You gotta be kidding me!

[Will and Seth stare for a moment, and then Will aims a handgun at them]

WILL: I don't know which one to shoot.

ANDY: What?! Why are you gonna shoot anyone?!

SETH: Wait. We can ask him something that only Andy knows! Andy, what do you think about sandwiches?

ANDY: I–uh–I–I love them!

SETH: Andy does love sandwiches.

WILL: Everyone loves sandwiches!

SETH: You're right. Take the shot.

ANDY: Don't take the shot!

SETH: Take the shot!

[Cut abruptly to a black screen as a gunshot rings out]

[Cut to Seth and Will back on the bench. The street bum sits between them and finishes Andy's lunch]

WILL: [sheepishly] I shot the wrong guy.

SETH: Yeah.

[They sit motionless for a moment]

SETH: Back to work?

WILL: Back to work. [to bum] Let's go, bozo.

[All three stand up at once and walk calmly away]

[Fade to black]