Different As Can Be

[QUIRRELL]
You won't sleep on your tummy

[VOLDEMORT]
You won't sleep on your back

[QUIRRELL & VOLDEMORT]
We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree

[QUIRRELL]
We share some hands and fingers

[VOLDEMORT]
And yet the feeling lingers

[QUIRRELL & VOLDEMORT]
We're just about as different
As anyone can be

[VOLDEMORT]
You like plotting a garden
And I like plotting to kill

[QUIRRELL]
You think that you should rule the world
I think books are a thrill!

Sipping tea by the fire is swell

[VOLDEMORT]
Pushing people in is fun as well!

I like folding all my ties

[QUIRRELL]
And you have no friends
Hey, that's a surprise

[QUIRRELL & VOLDEMORT]
I guess it's plain to see
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can be

[VOLDEMORT]
You're a sissy, a twat, a girl!
I'm the darkest of lords!

[QUIRRELL]
I'm the brightest professor here
I've won several awards

[VOLDEMORT]
My new world is about to unfold

[QUIRRELL]
You got beat by a two-year-old

[VOLDEMORT]
I'll kill him this time, through and through

[QUIRRELL]
Or you might just give him another tattoo

[QUIRRELL & VOLDEMORT]
You really must agree
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can-

[VOLDEMORT]
I'll rise again and I'll rule the world
But you must help me renew
For when our plan succeeds

[QUIRRELL, spoken]
Prevails!

[VOLDEMORT]
Part of that world goes to you

[QUIRRELL]
When I rule the world, I'll plant flowers

[VOLDEMORT]
When I rule the world, I'll have... snakes!

[VOLDEMORT]
And goblins and werewolves
A fleet of Dementors
And giants and Thestrals
And all my Death Eaters!
[QUIRRELL]

And Jane Austin novels!
[QUIRRELL & VOLDEMORT]
When I rule the world!