Dial Up

[Verse 1]
I never lost my self control
'Til a bit of Jamie stole my soul
Waterboarded in a wallet dry
Now I'm sleepin' in the street
On the curb, kick up my feet
Thing that came from up on high

[Chorus]
The thing from Jupiler gets kicks
Doin' the Mambo #6
The thing from Jupiler gets kicks
Mambo #6

[Verse 2]
A little bit of Tito by myself
A little bit of Hendrick all alone
A little bit of Evan 'til I'm too smashed to drive home

[Chorus]
I used to function at 4G
After seven-hundred hours free
I'm an AOL free trial CD
Scratched up, can't read!

[Verse 3]
I drink a whiskey drink
I drink a vodka drink
I sing the songs that remind me of the bad times
'Cause everything reminds me of the bad times, baby!

[Chorus]
I used to function at 4G
After seven-hundred hours free
I'm an AOL free trial CD
Scratched up, can't read!

[Refrain]
Messages are pilin' up
And the dial-up is down

[Interlude]
[?]
Oh my God! Your name's Ariel and you're also an agent and totally not a forty-two year old guy named Tony that wants my address because I'm on a road trip with my dad [?] through his rearview mirror?
Sure, I can forward you my mom's social!

[Chorus]
I used to function at 4G
After seven-hundred hours free
I'm an AOL free trial CD
Scratched up, can't read!

[Refrain]
Messages are pilin' up
And the dial-up is down

[Bridge]
Dale a tu cuerpo, alegría Macarena
Dale a tu cuerpo, alegría Macarena

[Refrain]
Messages are pilin' up
And the dial-up is down
And I left my Limewire running to get
Mellencamp's Small Town

[Outro]
Ah!
I can't read!