Constancy

Fate decides
This time I spend alone
And I know it’s not forever
So I keep to myself
My own
—Little imperfections

Would I try to write my own way
Or trace the lines
Between the dots?

O' I wish I could forget everything!
To dig up all the seeds I had sown
All the dreams I had chased
How I wanted
To make this right
But their buzzing dampened the way
The swarm was too loud and was drowning the sound of my soul's shrieks

How I just want to go back and
Remove myself from other's lives
Blow up the bridge, a bomb between you and me
Another could take my place
I want to be a nobody
I want to disappear

Your word's only good when it's not make-believe
It's harder to reclaim a trust once it leaves
And harder to do so from behind the walls of a prison cell
But your arrow met its mark down the center
Splintered, fractured, and dust was
All that matched what you shot from the quiver of your scorn
Such bolts don't belong here

How I just want to go back and
Remove myself from other's lives
Blow up the bridge, a bomb between you and me
Another could take my place
I want to be a nobody
I want to disappear

O' they took my lamb away!
And the wolf I was, how I howled resurgence
And this chastened snare of pride and steel
Was a part of me
How I'd bite my own head off

I was burning
I was weakened
What I felt's below dismay
To inherit
Such stigma and peel back that shell
I don't belong here

No one cried, "timber" when I fell
My roots were worn and dried
So I just fell
I just fell apart

Were you ever even with me?
Did you ever even care?
Another victim for the coward's rage
If I went to the beginning
And I traced it back to here
Would I understand my flaws?

And what am I to do with this limiting, fail-safe rationale?
And who was I to prove?
Being the conqueror I had vanquished all the-
The petty, little thorns on the sidewalk kept the concrete clear
And so time increased its pacing
Now too fast, I’ve grown afraid!
And what am I to do with my fears?
And how do I prevent these burning tears from falling out?
If I run from the truth, I'm only hiding from myself
But that reflection in the mirror?
That's not the person I should see!