A Father’s End

In the darkness, there's a glow
And I suppose that's the idea
So to the ground, stealth and swiftly I proposed
-On the chance no one could hear me
Warry footsteps in the gray
But I’m not frightened
I would fear me!
And all this time, I'd never sank so low
That’s why I feel so far away

I'd one shot and all to lose
(My eyes were shut, my ears were set)
-No such thing as wasting time
(Not a patient man, so a penitent man)

My hands were coarse
And my heart beat with a sound like a stampede of horses
I’d no idea what was waiting there for me
That’s why I feel so far away

I'd one shot and all to lose
(My eyes were shut, my ears were set)
-No such thing as wasting time
(Not a patient man, so a penitent man)
Patience—my only move
(My eyes were shut, my ears were set)
And that slipped when I fell away
(Not a patient man, so a penitent man)

My god, I’m not okay
Looking out in confusion, I had made a mistake!
I had jumped to conclusion
And there was no escape

-Not my best
I had sacrificed everything
I would not leave this place empty-handed again!
There was no retreat
I’d not be defeated by virtue
Believe, I’d push it

What a heathen to make an impression on me!
Introducing: the star of the show!
Dirty fingers and laughing
Your eyes could not lie
I held my back to a fiery stove

I was in ire—I was engulfed
All I desired? A slit of the throat
I was outnumbered—all of me burned
I would rip off this crown if I could
But it branded itself to my skull
-Felt cemented, my spirit was choked
The flames rushed in
I smiled—I smiled for you

I'm impressed that I could not see it through this maze
Different stage, but the mask was the same

I felt numb
That fel-crown slipped off
My soul went quiet for the first and only time

What have you done for me?
This trust’s been lost
I am tired, and I am done
I don’t care anymore
-Dreams of fire seared my cheeks
But I couldn’t feel anymore...
Has my heart turned into dust?
-No more tears anymore
Here’s to a father’s end!