Conspiracy Theories

[Verse 1]
I saw a man on the TV, wen out and put up a bomb shelter
He stocked it full of cans of corned beef, right in airplane formations
His attic has plastid gallons of syrup, cigarettes and alcohol
He says it's good for trade and barter and such in the end of times, yeah

[Chorus]
Conspiracy theories! You've got a lot to live for
Go out and have a beer now. Hang out with your wife and kids
Conspiracy theories! You've got a lot to give her
Go out and see a movie. Hang out with your friends today

[Verse 2]
I've got a friend from Tucson. He hates on the government
He cleans his rifles and bullets and shines them up like amphenol
He dreams of hunting 'em down in grassy plains and sunset backdrops
He lines those elephants up in one-shot kills in Africa, hey

[Chorus]
Conspiracy theories! You've got a lot to live for
Go out and have a Cabernet. Hang out with your wife and kids
Conspiracy theories! You've got a lot to give her
Go out and see a TV show. Hang out with your friends today

[Verse 3]
I've got a neighbor in Dublin. He built up a radio empire
He's got his transmitters on and sets off all the hurricane sirens
He traffics in iodine pills and fallout maps for the end of times
He forges his backup tapes and memories for the end of times, yeah

[Chorus]
Conspiracy theories! You've got a lot to live for
Go out and have a beer now. Hang out with your wife and kids
Conspiracy theories! You've got a lot to give her
Go out and see a movie. Hang out with your friends today