Comprehensive Evaluation (Skit)

[Joyner's Doctor]
Hey buddy, come in and have a seat
Your mom told me you didn't want to come in and see me today because of our last conversation
And I apologize, buddy, I really do
I shouldn't have lashed out like that
I was out of character
I mean, you're only eight years old
And I had no business talking to you that way
So I wanted to extend a very sincere apology to you
You think we can be friends and get over this?

[Child Joyner]
I guess so

[Joyner's Doctor]
That-a-boy
And I promise, from this day forward
That if you don't act like a little fucking retard and piss me off again
I won't lash out like that
There's consequences for everything, Joyner
You act like a little prick, you get the mean doctor you don't wanna see
It's that simple
Now, mom tells me you don't really like the prescription I gave you

[Child Joyner]
Not really

[Joyner's Doctor]
Well, what if I told you that I have a prescription that you can't get at the pharmacy?

[Child Joyner]
Like what?

[Joyner's Doctor]
You ever used cocaine, Joyner?

[Child Joyner]
What's that?

[Joyner's Doctor]
How about lean?

[Child Joyner]
I never heard of it

[Joyner's Doctor]
Give me your backpack

[Child Joyner]
Why?

[Joyner's Doctor]
I'm going to put a few things in there for you
And I guarantee this will take all your ADHD away for good
How's that sound?

[Child Joyner]
Um

[Joyner's Doctor]
It'll be our little secret

[Child Joyner]
I'm not sure about this

[Joyner's Doctor]
Don't tell mom
If you do, no more treatment for you