Chintzy

Porky: Happy Ble-le-le-Birthday, Daffy!
(*Daffy rips open present*)
Porky: Do you like it?
Daffy: Hmm…

You've given me a birthday gift
You’ve really given my day a lift
Oh, wow! A childhood photo of you and me
But I have to tell you somethin' now
And I'm trying to find the word how
While your gift was thoughtful
It was also chintzy

I can remedy the situation
And you can avoid future humiliation
If you would just follow these gift giving guidelines
Buy me something made of solid gold
Because this homemade sweater just leaves me cold
Think in term of things that are expensive
A coffee mug that says "My Best Friend"
Will find a new home in my trash bin
And if you knit me a scarf
I’ll bury it in the backyard
Now pay attention
Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, not chintzy
Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, very chintzy

This gift has a hot date with my shredder
Buy me a jacuzzi filled with caviar
Or a diamond encrusted rocket car
And when in doubt try a briefcase full of money
Try to stay away from arts and crafts
I don't want your homemade bubblebath
And cookies are better when they're made by professionals
Buy me a ranch with a thousand long horned steers
Or a mansion filled with crystal chandeliers
An M60-A3 army tank
Would be met with heartfelt thanks
Because that is something that I drive to the supermarket
Porky: Oh, I get it!
In unison: Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy
Porky: Not chintzy
Daffy: Good!
In unison: Chintzy, chintzy, chintzy, chintzy
Porky: Very chintzy
Daffy: Yes!

That's why I'm setting fire to the photo you gave me
So I'm glad I can help you out
This is what friendship's all about
But the next gift that you bring should require a trailer
So before a new day dawns, maybe cash in your savings bonds
And buy me a present…that is not…CHINTZYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Porky: Whew!
Daffy: Hep-hem
You still owe me a birthday present