Camping

Well I'm in love with a man
Who loves to camp
He camps when it's sunny
He camps when it's damp
All he needs is a tent
A sleeping roll
A package of hot dogs
And a sack of charcoal
He camps in the desert
He camps in the snow
He says baby come with me
I say no

You see I like hot showers
And I like ice
The cool cotton sheets on my bed feel so nice
I'm afraid of little animals
I'm scared of big bugs
I like the feel of bare feet on a Berber rug
I can't stand port-a-sans
Community soap
I say baby stay with me
He says no

So I said why deprive yourself
Of the creature comforts
It's taken man so long to invent
And he said somethin' about Walden
Thoreau and back to Woodstock
Livin' his life in a tent

Oh I can picture him now by a babblin' brook
Slappin' at mosquitos
Slippin' bait on a hook
I can see the bear sniffin' round for something to steal
Oh bears, eat a hot dog, don't make my baby your meal
This whole scenario would give me such a fright
To think he coulda stayed with me tonight...

Where my air conditioner makes a real cool breeze
Not unlike the wind whistlin' through the trees
I've got stars on my ceiling that glow in the dark
I'll open up the windows we can hear the birds in the park
I'll put Wild Kingdom on my TV
This might not be camping but it's pretty close
Honey I'll act as primitive as you want me to be
This might not be camping but it's close enough for me!