C.H.A.P.S.

"There, that, I believe, does it."
"Well I'm only trying to help!"
"Huh huh, I wonder."
"Perfect fit sire. Most becoming. You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chivalorous -"
"Ah, ah: don't overdo it"

(Verse 1)
Coulda had a polo, son
How come these trousers' buttons keep coming undone?
Low quality, line designed, department store issued
Boxed and wrapped in tissue
If you happen to buy a pair
A debonair choice if you want a Rolls Royce
But all you can afford to use are cords? You'll be so ignored
But that's why Ralph made a clothing line just for you the average man

(Chorus)
Since you know we're never going to rent that
Though they're never, ever, ever gonna get that
Would an o.g. hate it if we bit that
Told me if a girl won't admit that
Ask an old hand, "mother did you knit that
Coz we're never, ever, ever gonna fit that?
Our friends won't allow us to permit that
Rudder when we don't wear chaps"

(Verse 2)
That's right we hate those chaps
Our own leap off the polo with those dealer fitted slacks
Cut a cheaper fabric with some tracks on wax
That's common people shopping at the store to the Max
-imillian trophies and GRATs and plaques
But never in my teeth so the perfect can relax
Fit in this clothing even though i've eaten too many snacks
That's far too many lamb racks
Yes some'll rock the Perry Ellis dressed in corduroy
We be shopping in the Metro Council on the smack a buoy
I'm gonna get that sporting jacket swinging like a tennis racquet
Probably oughtn't have it, but man I've got to have it
We take it over stretched limousines to the bay
Hip, hip, hooray we be popping Chardonnay
Yes the fans pay for our company, combined with
The gift vouchers discovered for today

(Chorus)
Since you know we're never going to rent that
Though they're never, ever, ever gonna get that
Would an O.G. hate it if we bit that
Told me if a girl won't admit that
Ask an old hand, "mother did you knit that
Coz we're never, ever, ever gonna fit that?
Our friends won't allow us to permit that
Rudder when we don't wear chaps"

(Verse 3)
Different fashions out of wear
Shall a nobleman compare?
Is the quality the same? Au contraire
But they give a subtle two a common air
See our friends hate som when uploading ordinary things
For the common-ass man who will never spread his wings
As a member of the Knights Templar I just keep it debonair
Only shop at the boutiques and a couple of bizarre bazaars
So rich I threw Abercrombie in a ditch
That bloody Fitch? Ha, he's a little bitch
I sport Gant in the plates and cuff pants
I'd rock Mark Soley but the game's far too elegant
Like ella fie(?) my composition's formed in perfect keys
Suspending Jesus, swiping credit cards and Gotti tees
Colonies, please, I know you want to look like me, ha ha ha
Timeless style I like my clothing made to measure
The centreplate in my armour was a falcon pleasure
So have your leather I still rock the spot without a doubt
Exuding clout when I break it down I twist and shout
Beauteous babes claim my dress so frivolous
I disagree: for the nob this privileged
My mission is education for the man
Martiniques, Bon Marche, I'm the revisionist