Butterball (Original)

[Verse 1]
Can I take you to the movies?
I will buy you popcorn and candy
They will make you fat and ugly
So no other boy will look your way
And you'll be mine all mine every single day

[Chorus]
My little butterball wouldn't go anywhere without her man
Take her to the bar and she's ignored
And if she weren't so goddamned pretty
She'd be mine

[Verse 2]
Can I fuck you on the red eye?
Travelling hours with your best guy
I'll make all the passengers die
So no other boy will look your way
And you'll be mine all mine every single day

[Chorus]
My little butterball wouldn't go anywhere without her man
Take her to the bar and she's ignored
And if she weren't so goddamned pretty
She'd be mine

[Bridge]
If I wasn't quite so boring in bed
If I made more money at my job
If I played in a cooler band than him
And if she weren't so goddamned pretty
She'd be mine

[Outro]
She'd be mine