Bermuda Shorts

I never quit and I was never fired
I made it my goal to be officially retired
Forget freedom 55, I am free at 23
Divorced from the workforce, I am, I be

Long to the throngs that live along the east van
And I plan to live a long life of vice, strife free
I'm always putting in work but I don't got a job
And I ain't looking, I ain't trying to be nobody's hooker

Just chilling in a rocker, feeling lots of hot flashes
The sum of my life, soul claps and cymbal crashes
I look a little young to be old fashioned and so dashing
Forget the cigarette, post-sex I need more action

I take naps and try to cash in on the system
It's not like leaching when it's supplying the teaching
And when I uprock the girls flock and I take them to the sock hop
Where they all sit around and watch me rock the foxtrot

Nice to know you here to show you, you can do it too
Send a self addressed six pack care of you know who
I've got to pull my pants up, my belly button's showing
Lint is growing, flowing blood is slowing down, bones are creaking

And I ain't got teeth and I can't speak my vowels
I take all these pills to take control of my bowels
You, you got some shit to say, I got shit in my pants
And I'm deaf anyway with advanced arthritis
And a big old nose and wrinkles and gingivitis

And these kids yell shit all night just to spite us
Don't make an old man go and get his shoes on
Then drool on a futon, put my teeth in, get my booze on
I'm old and I stink but I do what I wanna

Sitting in my rocking chair with bag of chips and marijuana
A mug of full whiskey as I watch the sun set
Knowing life is for the living and I ain't done yet

There's little I can do, there's even less I wanna show
I use vague cryptic statements when the weed starts to slow
The brain and drain, the need to socialize
And stabilize and localize
The vocals come from hopeful eyes
Their focal points the open skies

I've learned a whole lot in my days on this earth
Caught some rays and lazed off of lavish praise, I never sought
I pray to God, I never let the world get the better of me
From below it looks so lonely, from above it looks so lovely

And I don't know what to call it but I hate it and can't control it
I can't explain it, dude, and you can't hold it
I've got issues in the fissure that I cover with a layer
Of reverb and echoes but I know it deserves better

See I'm a setter of trends that I follow like a flightpath
I've met enough friends to know I need more guidance
And having seen violence, still it sickens me to lick wounds
And sit back and not fight still I hold back it's alright

You want raw feeling and the seesaw of indecision
Ask an artist why they think of yesterday's opus
Everyone's a critic with acidic points of view
Too scared to find love in the hateful things we do

See the news has me losing faith in today's youth
'Cause they still don't know how to rock shows and raise the roof
Now I'm old and golden, paid the dues I'd been withholding
Now I'll never work again 'cause that's just the life I've chosen