Are You Italian?

I'm gonna jump right into it because I'm paying for a sitter, this show's costing me money. I love being a dad; I got a son, and what I love about kids is they're honest, they think it and they say it, they don't hold back. Someone asked my son at school, "Hey! Is your family Italian?" And he said, "No, we're vegetarian." (audience laughs) You can't get more Italian than this guy on stage right now. Any Italians here tonight? (audience member, "Yeah") Yeah. One over in the corner, love that. They won't even let him sit up front, they won't let that happen here. I grew up with beautiful Italian women, Italian women are beautiful, I was so lucky. What I love about Italian women is they’re beautiful and as they get older they become handsome. (audience laughs) And I mean that with respect ma’am, I mean that with respect. ‘Cause the people sittin’ around here are like, “You’re gonna look like that dude in 15 years, honey.”