Addicted

[Verse 1]
The more that I want it, the more that it haunts me
With every single thought, every night it keeps taunting
The monstrous monster inside me, reminding
Of what I can't have in my hold
It keeps winding and calling
I can hear the echoes of the crying and sobbing
Nothing can calm it, it's fighting
Just fight it, and mosh it, and drive it to silence
But it always finds a way to be heard through the sirens
Never give up on it, advice from the wise
Too bad my life has some different guidelines
Everything I want, can never be mine
No matter how much I fight, or how hard I try
I see your eyes as we pass in the halls
And I sink, in a second and I feel like I'm already on the brink
Of destruction
This sucks and, no one sees my pain
What you think I like the rain?
It washes the bloody veins
It helps me clear my brain from
All these fucking thoughts of the future
That are destined to be left inside a box
In the basement of my soul
It's you I fucking want
You're the only one I need, can't you see it? Did it knock?
Why didn't you answer it?
Why'd you leave me all alone?
Don't you wanna have someone?
Now I know you fucking don't
I'm so cold, but I'll explode
Kept it down for long enough
Your heart's the fucking drug and I'm addicted to your love

[Hook]
They told me I could have any girl that I dreamed of
They meant I could have anyone but you
They said when I find her I'll know that it's real love
But I'm still looking
And I have no clue, I have no clue, I have no clue
You were the one, but I can't have you
I have no clue, I have no clue, I have no clue
What I should do

[Verse 2]
I always seem to do this, use this senseless music
When it's clearly in your eyes that you don't even give two shits
How could I be so mother fucking stupid
Why couldn't I see it? There was no point to do it
But I did it, and I fell
Lost it all and I'm in Hell
Still fighting to get out, climbing up this wall of nails
Bleeding everything that's left
When I'm almost at the top
I can see your blurry image telling me to never stop
Nothing's clear, it's just a dream. You would never care for me
I guess I want what I can't have, and it's oh so clear to see
That I'm obviously alone, in a world that's growing cold
With every day a new book, and another story told
But the same idea remains, that I should never be happy
Losing my grip on reality - poor fucking sad me
I've invested time in this, not just this but everything
Every single song I wrote, and every fucking phone ring
With you on the other end
Disconnected but still present
Fuck my past, fuck my future, fuck this motherfucking sentence
Like I'm cursed to be in prison, and in a cage of disappointment
No one's getting close to me, my life is proving pointless
If I could swap a few things
Maybe switch it all or change it
I would wish I never met you, and wish that I was famous
Have a billion dollars so that I'm numb when all the pain hits
I knew it would be rough, but I didn't think it'd be this blatant
I'm done

[Hook]