A Bosom Friend

[STARBUCK, spoken]
Oh Queequeg's a Cannibal, that's all!

[ISHMAEL]
A cannibal!

Well I don't want to sleep with a cannibal!
I don't wanna sleep with a cannibal!
Maybe I'm prude, but it just seems kind of rude
And I don't want to sleep with a cannibal

[ALL]
No he don't want to sleep with a cannibal

[ISHMAEL]
And I love new things, but I don't wanna try this

[ISHMAEL]
First thing I saw was his big harpoon and it scared me a little

[ALL]
Scared him a little

[ISHMAEL]
Next thing I saw was his crazy tattoos and it scared me a little

[ALL]
Scared him a little

[ISHMAEL]
Last thing I saw, he was holding in his hands it was a bundle of shrunken human heads
And that scared me a little, scared me a little bit too

When Queequeg came in I cried

[ALL]
Angels save me

[ISHMAEL]
I said

[ALL]
Cannibal don't get too close

[ISHMAEL]
And Queequeg cried

[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Who-e debel you? You no speak-e, dam-me, I kill-e [?]

[ISHMAEL, spoken]
I just don't want to sleep with a cannibal!

[QUEEQUEG]
Oh- Oh I understand
And I'm sorry for your little mind
Yes I'm a cannibal- but don't you wanna know what kind?

Cannibalism is an outdated term and it needs to be rethunk I think
'Cause it lumps together endo-cannibals, exo-cannibals, necro-cannibals, and homicidal cannibals
Even though, they're pretty distinct

[ALL]
Endo-cannibals
Exo-cannibals
Necro-cannibals
And homicidal cannibals- distinct

[QUEEQUEG]
Now I am a necro-endo, mostly
Which means I just eat the people from my tribe
And I wait 'til they're dead
[spoken]
Eh?
Oh I can see you're hopeless
Yojo, deliver me from basic bunkmates

[ISHMAEL, spoken]
No wait, I'm sorry- I wanna learn!

[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Alright- Try to keep up!
[sung]
If you love someone don't throw them in the ground
Butter them up and spread them around
I believe the flesh contains a bit of the soul
And it's yummy when you put it in a casserole

[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Now I do sometimes eat people outside my tribe too, but only as a sacred ritual
[sung]
Say that you're engaged in a noble war
You finally win but what was the fighting for?
You can gain some wisdom when you empathize
By respecting their values and boiling their thighs

Everywhere I go people have an opinion
That this is wrong, or this or that is right
Ugh
Everybody is talking politics or religions
But as a cultural relativist I've seen the light
[scatting]
Zwadeebadadya

[ISHMAEL, scatting]
Zwadeebadyaday

[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
That's right!

[scatting]
Zabadabadabaday

[ISHMAEL, scatting]
Babababababababa

[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Too much!

[scatting]
Scabodabodaboday

[spoken]
Now take it slow!

[ISHMAEL, scatting]
Zabodabodaboday

[QUEEQUEG]
Nice!
And you eat chicken

[ISHMAEL]
And I eat beef!

[QUEEQUEG]
And those animals endure a lot of grief

[BOTH]
And though you find my customs a little bit strange

[QUEEQUEG]
At least I know my meat lived its life free range

[ISHMAEL, spoken]
Why you're just as much a human as me!

[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Um... Yeah

[ISHMAEL, spoken]
No, wait, I'm sorry, I mean- I'd be honored to share a bed with you

[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Don't hog the covers- and try not to drool

[ISHMAEL]
So I guess I'm gonna sleep with a cannibal
I guess I'm gonna sleep with a cannibal
While the foodies chomp and chaw on their pâté-de-foie-gras
I'll be snuggling with my bosom friend the cannibal

[ALL]
Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian