5/2

We went to Aokigahara today. The suicide forest. I thought that I'd feel more there. This place where so many have come to end their lives. They've chosen to die here. Walked into the woods knowing they'll never walk out. There's a legend that says the woods call to you. They lure you in but its not the woods. It's not a spirit. Sometimes the world just gets too heavy. Sometimes it's too much to keep standing. Sometimes you just get tired. Dave said sometimes people tie strings to trees so they know their way back if they change their mind.

You are my red ribbon. You are my way back from the silence and darkness. I heard a lot about how quiet it was and it's not untrue. The woods are so dense that the trees block the wind creating near silence most of the time but when the wind does come, it's much stranger. You hear it coming from a certain direction. It's very specific and easy to point to. My whole life the wind has been everywhere. Now, it's specifically to my right and moving towards center. It moves through the trees like smoke.