3 Rings

[Skit]
*Phone rings* "Hello?"
"You have a collect call from" "Fook oof." "Please answer the following question 'Yes' or 'No': Will you pay for the call?"

[Intro: Ringmaster]
"Is this on? Gather 'round my wealthy friends, and endure the horrifying sights only your worst nightmares can produce: actual human beings of a deformed nature. Come at once and come and indulge yourself in our own twisted amusement of another's misfortune. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, enter our three ring show of freaks"

[Verse 1: Violent J]
Ring one, a dung a dung dung
My name's Violent J and I staple my tongue
To the desk in school then I run down the hall
Scaring the shit out of all y'all, bitches
Which is fine, you don't invite mine to your party
Just cause I don't look like everybody
I guess you're bunch of rich boys
Bitch boys, scary, brrrahhhh!
And what's the big deal about my neck?
Just because now and then I like to let it stretch
Up a couple feet to get a better sight
Is that any reason to scream and run in fright?
No, so, now how ya gon' act?
So what if I got another arm growing out of my back
I guess I'm just another freak show thing
And now they got me in the three ri-i-i-ing

[Chorus]
Three ring a ding a ding ding (People love to point and stare)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (It's the same as everywhere)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (People love to point and stare)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (It's the same as everywhere)

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Ring two, how do you do?
I'm Shaggy 2 Dope, chicken-faced bitch (Who?)
You, don't try to front, ho
Try to play me out just cause I'm runnin' with the sideshow
So maybe it's the leg growing out my neck
But don't jet baby, heh, not yet
Popped out the neden like a pound of lead
Doctor blew his dex roll and dropped me on my head
Oh shit, I knew it had to fuck up my circuits
'Cause when I was two my momma left me at the circus
Abandoned at the carnival with the freak shows
Like back boy, hermaphrodites and old man crow
But then I escaped to the ghetto zone
Started a crew of my own, motherfucker, I'm not alone
So don't be stickin your finger in my face stank
Or your stomach might receive a shank from the three ring freak

[Chorus]
Three ring a ding a ding ding (People love to point and stare)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (It's the same as everywhere)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (People love to point and stare)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (It's the same as everywhere)

[Bridge: Ringmaster]
"I certainly hope you're enjoy yourselves here at our three ring exhibit, but to be honest, I really don't see what's so fuckin' funny about it. These fucking people are real!"

[Verse 3: Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope, Both]
Ring three, the ICP
Look if you want, but I wouldn't lay a hand on me
That's how you get fucked up
We'll squeeze your windpipe shut
Yo, I'm a nerd, word, I drink Thunderbird
Half Snake woman kicked my love to the curb
She busted into my tent, now I'm fucked
Had the fat bearded lady in the buck, uh!
Fuck that, bitch, suck that
I was born with a wang but I never had a nut sack
It's two balls hanging with no protection, so
I move real careful and slow
You can call me a weirdo, call me a freak
Call me Don Knotts 'cause I'm gettin' knotted every week, uh
So come see the carnival and throw me your change, bitch
I chill with the three rings

[Chorus]
Three ring a ding a ding ding (People love to point and stare)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (It's the same as everywhere)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (People love to point and stare)
Three ring a ding a ding ding (It's the same as everywhere)

[Outro: Ringmaster]
"Well, that's it. I hope you're satisfied. I hope you had a good time, you fuckin' heartless bastards. You saw what you wanted, so grab your fucking kids and that fat flop of shit wife of yours and get the fuck out of our circus tent, you cold-hearted sons of bitches. You think they look fucked up? Just wait 'til I kick your fuckin' lips in a couple times. You'll be sittin' up here like a bitch, and we'll be laughin' at your folded ass. They'll call you lumpy, after I'm done puttin' knots all over your fuckin' forehead. Yeah, hey, hey little boy, come here. How'd you like it if I tied your neck in a knot, you fucking little bitch? Come here. I'll shove that fucking corn dog up your ass. Get the fuck out of here Show's fucking over. Get the fuck out of here, you fucking heartless bastards!"