2000 Friends (Facebook Song)

Sometimes I sit here in the dark
With just the light of the screen
Maybe I don't get dressed
Have a little more caffeine
Sometimes I stay up late
Time goes by
I say what’s on my mind
And I hope for a reply

I never stay away long
I start missing all my friends
I post my photographs
I use my very best lens
Sometimes the comments never come
Sometimes I sit and I wait
Won't you please like me?
Is there someone who can relate?

Nobody ever writes me letters
I don't know why I have a phone
I have a couple thousand friends now
So I don’t feel so alone
Sometimes I drop them a line
Sometimes they think of me too
They want to know if I'm ok
In just a sentence or two

I know who cooked Italian
And I know who got new shoes
I know who had to pull a tranny
And who's away on a cruise
I know who got that dreaded letter
I know who just switched shampoos
I know who's using smiley faces
And I know who's got the blues

CHORUS
I know who likes what
I know who's friends with who
I know what everybody just did
And what they're planning to do
I know who's having a birthday
And who just lost their job
I know it rained in Sarasota
For a little while then it stopped

I’ve found a lot of old classmates
People I once knew
Everybody went their own ways
As people these days will do
Some of them got wealthy
Some are living hand to mouth
Some are living up north still
Some have settled in the south

All of my old flames got married
Some they got divorced
And of the ones who’ve fallen
Some never got back on a horse
The ones who did have children
None of them look like me
I hope that everybody's happy
I hope that everybody’s free

CHORUS
I know who likes what
I know who's friends with who
I know what everybody just did
And what they're planning to do
I know who just lost their father
And who's decided to adopt
I know it rained in Sarasota
For a little while then it stopped

Prayers for my friends in Uganda
My friends in Israel and Iran
Nova Scotia, Ireland, and Denmark
Lithuania and Japan
I hope someday to meet them
Their place or mine
For now it makes me happy
When I see them here on line

I know who just got a puppy
I know who’s rose bushes died
To the ones who own ponies
Sometimes I tell ‘em I can ride
I've flirted with some women
You never know, some of ‘em could've been men
And then there was the time when Elvis
Asked if he could be my friend

CHORUS
I know who likes what
I know who's friends with who
I know what everybody just did
And what they're planning to do
I know who's fighting cancer
Sometimes I just start to sob
I know it rains in Sarasota
For a little while then it stops