Names

(spoken)
Hi, welcome to the Valley
My name?
Well, which one do you want?
Yeah, we all have two
Well there’s your real name, which is the one that you’re stuck with
But then there’s your porn name, which is whatever you want it to be
You actually have to register it
It costs five bucks!

(sung)
Three bucks in your pocket and it costs five to get your name

(spoken)
When I started, I didn’t even have the money!

(sung)
Three bucks in your pocket and it costs five to get your name

There’s a famous expression
It’s the street that you grew up and your first pet
But you have to make an impression
Something special and unique
So they won’t forget

(spoken)
Me? I’m Jimmy Wood
Like, you know
Also it’s kinda my thing
Like most people wouldn’t, well Jimmy would
It’s a play on words

(sung)
It’s something that you own
Whoa
It’s something of your own
Whoa
It’s something you can sell
Whoa
It's something so that they’ll remember

(spoken)
I wanted to show that I’m a stud, so my last name is Savage
But, my first name is Hershel because I had to remain true to my Jewish identity

(sung)
Well, Sunny Lane is my personality
I can’t be something that I’m not
I’m happy a lot
'Cause I spread a lot of sunshine
I take away your pain
I say, "Come stroll down my Sunny Lane"

(spoken)
When I picked my name, Sunny Leoni
There were no other Sunnys
So, I’m not saying anything bad about her
But, like, she stole my name

And for my last name, I chose Kross
Just because I like the letter K
And it’s so cool because now they use my name in all of my movie titles
And everybody knows who I am
Double Kross, UnKross, Kriss Kross

(sung)
It’s something that you own
Whoa

(spoken)
Uh, I went through a couple different stage names
My first one was Long Island

(sung)
It’s something of your own
Whoa

(spoken)
Then I changed to Alexander Kelly
‘Cause I’m a big fan of Gene Kelly
But then I realized his dancing was great, but his name was kinda gay
So instead I chose Hudson for Rock Hudson

(sung)
It’s something you can sell
Whoa

(spoken)
Wolf’s from werewolf
Wolf Hudson!
It’s like *wolf howl*

(sung)
It’s something so that they’ll remember
Sunny, Misty, Stormy, Haley, Ginger, Lynn, Lacey Lane
Sunny Lane, Sunny Leoni, Cindy Lou, Belladonna
Randy, Evan, Dick, Nick, Kylie, Katy, Kate and Aiden
Craven, Audrey,, Wolf, Sunny, Misty, Stormy, Haley

Well, my real last name is Brown and I’ve always been sweet
So, my boyfriend, well one of high school boyfriends
I was like that in high school
Called me Brown Sugar, and I got it tattooed on my thigh
When I was 18, before I got into porn

(spoken)
You know, Peter North has two names
Peter North is his straight name, and when he does gay porn, he’s like Matt Ramsey
I’m like, "Hi, we all know you’re the same person!"

(sung)
I was filming a scene
Playing Peter North’s son
I was figuring out a name
And Peter came up with one
He said if I wasn’t Peter North
I would be Craven Moorehead

Craven Moorehead!

And since you’re playing my son today
I’m giving you that name

Sunny, Misty, Stormy, Haley, Ginger, Lynn and Lacey Lane
And Sunny Lane and Sunny Leoni, Cindy Lou and Belladonna
Randy, Evan, Dick and Nick, Kylie, Katy, Kate and Aiden
Craven, Audrey, [?], Wolf, Sunny, Misty, Stormy, Haley

(spoken)
Don’t Kross the nurse
Don’t Kross the teacher
Don’t Kross my mom
When you’ve got a good brand, the possibilities are endless