Now & Then

[Chorus]
Now and then, I feel like givin' up
Now and then, I feel like I won’t ever be enough
Now and then, I even miss the person that I was
Cuz I don't even know the fuckin' monster I become
Roll another blunt up just to get me through the night (Night)
I hate bein’ sober, I'm a loner gettin' high (High)
I hold too much demons somewhere back there in my mind (Mind)
Now and then, I don't wanna live, I wanna die (Die)

[Verse 1]
I know that I wasn't meant to be like all of the people you meet on the street everyday
Cuz I'm one in a million, I have a million thoughts at a time runnin' through to my brain
And it's easy to judge me, I look like a mess but I’m tryin’ my best to get rid of the pain
I've been feelin’ the way that I do ever since I was born so I'm doubtful that I'll ever change
Nights I don't wanna remember back then, I was wakin’ up but on a sidewalk
No one was there when I need them the most, I just wanted a shoulder to cry on
I wanna be loved at the end of the day but that isn't for me to decide on
There ain't no light at the end of this tunnel, there's nothin' beyond but I'll fight on
What if I'm wrong? What if I'm not?
God, turn these voices off inside my head
Contradictions, I've gone against everything I've ever said
No prescriptions but I feel the side effects of all the meds
Depression is a cancer, it'll kill you when it spreads
Misdirected, rejected, was never shown affection
Disrespected, neglected, just wanna be accepted
Deception and suppression influence my dark perspective
Now and then, I pray to God but don't receive his blessing

[Chorus]
Now and then, I feel like givin' up
Now and then, I feel like I won't ever be enough
Now and then, I even miss the person that I was
Cuz I don't even know the fuckin' monster I become
Roll another blunt up just to get me through the night (Night)
I hate bein' sober, I'm a loner gettin' high (High)
I hold too much demons somewhere back there in my mind (Mind)
Now and then, I don't wanna live, I wanna die (Die)

[Verse 2]
I got the blunt, fuck it, let's get it started
I'll tell you how badly I wanna feel good but I can't
I did so much dirt and I wish I could go back and fix it
But nothin' erases the past
As far as my art goes, I'm one of a kind
To be humble to say that, I'm somewhat advanced
What good does that do me if I feel like dyin', I'd rather be someone that's never been sad
It's only a dream, everyone cries and bleeds
We all have problems we all wanna stop and we got different wants and needs
I see the bad and the good, I know I never could really change and be free
I've been through unspeakable things that the source of my pain that you wouldn't believe
Yeah, and now and then, I feel like I'm not worthy of this life
Ain't no sunshine, ain't no light, I'm only hurtin' every night
Rewindin' back in time, my trauma keeps replayin' in my mind
Ain't no shootin' stars up in the sky when I pray for a sign
At this point, it's pointless, I'm waitin' on somethin' fake
No matter what I do, I know I can't escape my fate
When the reaper comes, I'll ask him why the fuck he showed up late
I been ready my whole life, my soul's here for you to take (Yeah)

[Chorus]
Now and then, I feel like givin' up
Now and then, I feel like I won't ever be enough
Now and then, I even miss the person that I was
Cuz I don't even know the fuckin' monster I become
Roll another blunt up just to get me through the night (Night)
I hate bein' sober, I'm a loner gettin' high (High)
I hold too much demons somewhere back there in my mind (Mind)
Now and then, I don't wanna live, I wanna die (Die)

[Outro]
DempseyRollBoy
In a world of my own