Your Band

[Intro]
Oh man, you were awesome tonight
Thanks dude, thanks a lot
Yeah, you should come check out my band sometime
Yeah, I'll uh do that
Here
Oh, flyer for your band. When you playing?
Next Friday
Oh, great I'll be-
Yeah, and I brought this
Oh, it's a sticker for your band
Yeah and I brought you a c.d. too
Oh, c.d. Thanks, I'll listen to it
Well, you think maybe you could listen to it right now?
You want to listen to it right now?
Yeah, I got a disc-man right here
(Sigh)

[Verse 1]
So you're in a band too?
No shit? What do you play?
Really?
Cool, cool
You know that maybe some day
In November
Our schedule's better
We could do a show together
We go really well together
Great, great
I'll call ya later
Shoo

Ruthless!
Truth is
Schmoozing me's useless
You're wasting your time and
You're just being a nuisance
And you knew this
Long before you came up toting
Your three-song cassette demo
Enthusiastics on promote
Showboating me moping
A sense of half aloof devotion
I took a step off stage
And you were robbing of that moment
All dude that was awesome
I got some for you
To listen to dude
You're kissing boots boo

You babble on
'bout your band
Like it's Babylon
And I'm bored
You've been playing ten years?
You want a fucking reward?
You see
It seems that everyone i know
Is in a band, man
You're in a scene
Doesn't mean
I need to shake your hand
And i wouldn't expect it from you
But then I'd never do
By networking with a band
When they stop off stage into
Fucking spare me your best bit
Don't fucking send me your press kit
And don't ever call
And if I never call
Well i guess it means
I'm not
Interested in your band
And that's all
But don't push it
Or I'll use my weight
And get you black-balled
From every club in town
Back down
You fucking clown
Or you'll never even play
A Monday night at the pound

You lack tact
And act wack
Your backpack
Is so filthy and
You're covered in t-shirts
And ball caps
That say Zildjian
Like, "Dude!
I'll bet you couldn't guess
That i'm a drummer!"
You're dumber than a bag of rubbers
Pity, pity such a bummer

Last summer
You wimp
I saw a band in Olympia
Tattooed
Little dudes
With rude attitudes
It was simply atrocious
The shitty shit shit
That Shelly showed us
Then afterwards they said
Dude
Let's do a show in Frisco
This fall
We'll call
I'm Paul
And I'll be the contact
We're thinking bottom of the hill
Could you get on that?
Could you feed us
It's for [?]
It's just after check-in
And could you find another band
That'd wanna play second?

And you know what i told him?
What? say it

[Chorus]
Fuck you and your band
Fuck you and your band
What part of
"Fuck you and your band"
Can't you understand, man?
This is exactly the kinda shit
I can't stand
Fuck you and your band
God damn

However

[Verse 2]
When we were up north
And we played with these dorks
They broke
Every code of ethics
Of fork
We were torqued
Like
They sat in their van
While my band was on stage
And took with them
Their fans
Who were half underage

Their drummer was sound man
He ran the P.A
So there was feedback
In the monitors and vocal delay
And we sold nothing!
Cause no one
Was there when we played
And their guitarist did door
We didn't get paid

And now these little bitches
Want a show in my town?
I'd rather walk a mile
Of cap street in a night gown
If I ever see these fuckers again
There's gonna be a battle
That'll send 'em back
To their little suburb of Seattle

Clutching a rattle
In a crib
In a bib
Bare butt
Your hair cut
Looks like a
Dye jet-black
Andy Gibb
Ribbing your best solo
Watching your tricks fall
Ripping your press photo
The one with the brick wall

I'm so sick of
Your bands
Your fans
Your shows
Your pose
Your tours
Your hordes
Your faces
Your bassist
Your kids
Your splits
Your records
Your techs[?]
Your steer
Your gear
Your pants
Your tables
Your labels
Your comp
Your pomp
Your red light
Your website
Your K.I.S.S. make-up
Fucking just break up

[Chorus]
Fuck you and your band
Fuck you and your band
What part of
"Fuck you and your band"
Can't you understand, man?
This is exactly the kinda shit
I can't stand
Fuck you and your band
God damn

Unh