You Told Me I Would Be a Fighter Pilot

Ever since I was young I worked to my last breath
To be a razor-sharp instrument of death
So that when we flew the enemy ran in fear

But now I'm checkin' off boxes, got my school in my joint
I'm a motherfuckin' killer on the PowerPoint
Oh, dear God in Heaven, what the fuck am I doin' here?

'Cause you told me I would be a fighter pilot
But you fuckin' lied
My skills have sat for three long years
And now they've all but died

God forbid we ever go to war
I'll just have to laugh
'Cause I'm gonna have to kick the commies' ass
With everything I learned on the staff

It don't make any sense to me
How you're gonna rain death with a master's degree
Maybe that's a school that I haven't been to yet

But I'm learnin' every day things that I never knew
How you fit into the system that completely fucks you
When I get out, it's a lesson I won't forget

'Cause you told me I would be a fighter pilot
But you fuckin' lied
My skills have sat for three long years
And now they've all but died

God forbid we ever go to war
I'll just have to laugh
'Cause I'm gonna have to kick the commies' ass
With everything I learned on the staff

You told me I would be a fighter pilot
But you fuckin' lied
My skills have sat for three long years
And now they've all but died

God forbid we ever go to war
I'll just have to laugh
'Cause I'm gonna have to kick the commies' ass
With everything I learned on the staff

Yes I'm gonna have to kick the commies' ass
With everything I learned on the staff