I’m a FAIP

It was 10:30 on a summer night
Everyone was havin' fun
Except for me 'cause all of the
Fighter slots were gone

There were four captains in my class
And some National Guard dude
So it didn't take a rocket scientist
To figure out who got screwed

Now I'm a FAIP
Training every young punk
I'm just a FAIP
Every day is a kick in the junk
I'm just a FAIP
Never done anything cool
I'm just a FAIP
Tryin' not to be a tool
I'm just a FAIP

When I talk to all my buddies
They tell me all the things they've done
Flyin' Red Flags at Nellis
Aw damn, that sounds like fun!

I listen to all their stories
And all of their close calls
And the only thing I can counter with
Is traffic pattern stalls

And now I'm a FAIP
Training every young punk
I'm just a FAIP
Every day is a kick in the junk
I'm just a FAIP
Never done anything cool
I'm just a FAIP
Tryin' not to be a tool
I'm just a FAIP

Yeah but I'll shed no tears
Even though it's four fuckin' years
But don't you ever feel bad for me
I found a way to channel all my animosity
And this is what I'm gonna do:

I'm gonna hook 'em all
I'm gonna hook 'em all
Hook 'em all
I'm gonna hook 'em all

Well his cloverleaf was better
Than I could do
But I'm really pissed off
So I'll give 'em a "U"

Yeah, whatcha gonna do
When life hands you a turd?
That's why they say "FAIP"
Is a four-letter word
It stands for

Fuck, fuck, fuckin-a
I'm pissed
I was aimin' for fighters
But I horribly missed

Yeah now here I am flying
With this piece of crap
Who couldn't find his own ass
With two hands and a map

Yeah well at least I know
It couldn't get any worse
'Cause I know some day
That our roles will reverse

Yeah when you are an ALO
In the African heat
I'll be laughing at you
'Cause I'm out the door complete

Motherfucker!
Bitch, you can kiss my ass
If you wanna graduate
Then fucker you gotta pass

And I am not feeling generous
Not one little bit
You complain all you want
But I don't give a shit

'Cause one less punk
In the community
Means one more slot
For all my buddies and me!

Hook 'em all
I'm gonna hook 'em all
Hook 'em all
I'm gonna hook 'em all