You Could Drive a Person Crazy

[ROBERT, spoken]
You just wait
You're gonna see major changes in my life
I meet women all of the time
All over the place
All you gotta do it live in New York
And you meet a girl a minute
And I’ve met some real special ladies recently
Like, right now I'm dating this flight attendant
Cute, original... odd
Oh, and Kathy
You guys never met Kathy, did you?
Well, she's the best
I’m talkin' the best
Oh, and then there's Marta
God, now, she is... fun
I'm certainly not resisting marriage
I mean it when I say my life is totally prepared
For a gigantic change right now
I am ready to be married

[PAUL, spoken]
Right
Then why aren't you?

[ROBERT, spoken]
Right...

[KATHY, spoken]
Right, right, right

[KATHY, MARTA & APRIL]
You could drive a person crazy
You could drive a person mad
First you make a person hazy
So a person could be had
Then you leave a person dangling sadly
Outside your door
Which it only makes a person gladly
Want you even more

I could understand a person
If he said to go away
I could understand a person
If he happened to be gay
But worse than that
A person that titillates a person
And then leaves her flat
Is crazy
He's a troubled person
He's a truly crazy person himself

[KATHY]
When a person's personality is personable
He shouldn’t oughta sit like a lump
It’s harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get you offa your rump
So single and attentive and attractive a man
Is all that a person could wish
But turning off a person is the act of a man
Who likes to pull the hooks outta fish

[ALL THREE]
Knock knock
Is anybody there?
Knock knock
It really isn’t fair
Knock knock
I'm workin' on my charms
Knock knock
A zombie's in my arms

All that sweet affection
What is wrong?
Where’s the loose connection?
How long? Oh lord, how long?
Bobby baby, Bobby bubi, Bobby

You could drive a person buggy
You could blow a person's cool
First you make a person feel all huggy
While you make her fell a fool
When a person say that you've upset her
That's when you're good
You impersonate a person
Better than a zombie should

I could understand a person
If he wasn't good in bed
I could understand a person
If he actually was dead
Exclusive you, elusive you
Will any person ever get the juice of you?
You're crazy
You're a lovely person
You're a moving
Deeply maladjusted
Never to be trusted
Crazy person yourself

(spoken)

Bobby is my hobby
And I'm givin' it up!