Yo, Girl

[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Martha Dumptruck took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note

[VERONICA, spoken]
Oh my God. Is she dead—?

[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Just some broken bones. Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably

[HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT]
Yo -
Girl -
Keep it together
I -
Knew -
You would come far
Now -
You’re -
Truly a Heather
Smell -
How -
Gangsta you are

[VERONICA, spoken]
Martha, I’m so sorry!

[HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT]
Yo -
Girl -
Feel a bit punchy?
She’s -
Not -
Looking so well...
Still -
You’ve -
Earned that red scrunchie
Come-
Join -
Heather in hell!

[VERONICA’S DAD, spoken]
Where have you been?

[VERONICA’S MOM, spoken]
We’ve been worried sick! Your friend J.D. stopped by. He told us everything!

[VERONICA, spoken]
...‘Everything’?

[VERONICA’S DAD, spoken]
Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?

[VERONICA’S MOM, spoken]
He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!

[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
He’s got your handwriting down cold

[VERONICA’S MOM, spoken]
Please, honey. Talk to us!

[VERONICA, spoken]
No, you wouldn’t understand!

[VERONICA’S MOM, spoken]
Try me! I’ve experienced everything you’re going through right now

[HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM & KURT]
Guess who’s right down the block

[VERONICA’S MOM, spoken]
Your problems seem like life and death—

[HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT]
Guess who’s climbing the stairs

[VERONICA’S MOM, spoken]
I promise, they’re not

[HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT]
Guess who’s picking your lock

[VERONICA, spoken]
You don’t know what my world looks like!

[HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT]
Time’s up! Go say your prayers!

Veronica’s running on, running on fumes now
Veronica’s totally fried
Veronica’s gotta be tripping on ‘shrooms now
Thinking that she can hide
Veronica’s done for, there’s no doubt now
Notify next of kin!
Veronica’s trying to keep him out now
TOO LATE!
He got in!

[J.D., spoken]
Knock! Knock! Sorry for coming in through the window
Dreadful etiquette, I know!

[VERONICA, spoken]
Get out of my house!