Big Fun

[RAM]
Dad says "Act our age."
You heard the man, it's time to rage!

[ALL]
Blast the bass, turn out the light
Ain't nobody home tonight!

[RAM]
Drink, smoke, it's all cool
Let's get naked in my pool!

[ALL]
Punch the wall and start a fight!
Ain't nobody home tonight!

[KURT]
His folks got a waterbed
Come upstairs and rest your head

[RAM]
Let's rub each other's backs
While watching porn on Cinemax!

[HEATHER CHANDLER, KURT, RAM, & KIDS]
The folks are gone
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
We're up till dawn
Having some big fun!
Big fun!
When mom and dad forget
To lock the liquor cabinet
It's big fun!
Big fun!

[VERONICA, spoken]
Ok, ok, ok. So, it's salt, and then lime, and then shot?

[HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken]
No, it's salt, and then shot

[HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken]
You're doing it wrong!

[VERONICA, spoken]
Wait, Really? 'Cause I feel great

[PREPPY STUD, spoken]
Veronica, you are looking good tonight!

[VERONICA, spoken]
Whoa

(sung)
A hot guy smiled at me
Without a trace of mockery!

[ALL BUT VERONICA]
Everyone's high as a kite
Ain't nobody home tonight!

[VERONICA]
Stoned. Zoned. I should quit...
Hey, is that weed? I want a hit

[ALL BUT VERONICA]
Fill that joint and roll it tight
Ain't nobody home tonight!

[VERONICA]
Dreams are coming true
When people laugh but not at you!
I'm not alone! I'm not afraid!
I feel like Bono at LiveAid!

[ALL]
The house is ours
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
Let's use their showers
That sounds like
Big fun!
Big fun!
Crack open one more case!

[VERONICA, spoken]
I think that's what they call "third base."

[ALL]
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!

[VERONICA]
That actually looks like--

[ALL]
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!

[KURT, spoken]
Alright, people, listen up! What is Westerberg gonna do to the Razorbacks at Sunday's game?

[RAM, spoken]
Gonna make 'em go whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!

[ALL]
Big fun!
BIG FUN!

[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Way to show maturity!

[ALL]
Big fun!
BIG FUN!

[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
Quit it jackass, get off of me!

[ALL]
Big fun!
BIG FUN!

[VERONICA, spoken]
Yo! Ram! Emergency! I just saw some freshmen sneaking over the pool fence!

[RAM, spoken]
I hate freshmen! Where are you little pricks? I'm coming for you!

[VERONICA, spoken]
Hey, are you okay?

[HEATHER DUKE, spoken]
I didn't need your help

[VERONICA, spoken]
Aw, thanks, Heather, but I don't really have to vomit right now

[ALL]
The party's hot, hot, hot
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!

[KURT]
You need a jello shot!

[ALL]
We're having big fun!
Big fun!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Martha Dumptruck, in the flesh

[HEATHER DUKE]
Here comes the Cootie Squad
We should--

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Shut up, Heather

[HEATHER DUKE]
Sorry, Heather

[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Look who's with her -- Oh, my God!

[HEATHERS]
Dang! Dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!
Dang-dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!

[VERONICA, spoken]
I can't believe you actually came

[MARTHA, spoken]
It's exciting, right? Oh, I want to say hello to Ram. I brought sparkling cider

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Showing up here took some guts
Time to rip them out

[HEATHER DUKE]
Well, who's this pig remind you of?
Especially the snout

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Hah!

[HEATHERS]
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!

[RAM, spoken]
Where the hell are those freshman?

[MARTHA, spoken]
Hi, Ram. I wasn't gonna come, but since you took the time to write that sweet note…

[RAM, spoken]
What note? Why d'you gotta be so weird all the time? People wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal... There's no alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?

[KIDS]
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Diggety-dang-a-dang!

The folks are gone
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
We're up till dawn
Having some big fun! Big fun!
So let the speakers blow
They'll buy another stereo
Our folks got no clue
'bout all the shit their children do
Why are they surprised?
Whenever we're unsupervised
It's big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Whooo!