Wouldn’t It Be Nice?

[Burrs]
Fidelity is a virtue
Too many many many of you lack
Monogamy can exert you
Keeping track of what goes on
Behind your back
Would that your sugar could be trusted
Instead of busted
Scrubbing someone else’s tub;
Is it too much to ask-
Is it such an awful task-
To be faithful’
Ah! There’s the rub’

Wouldn’t it be nice
Wouldn’t it be grand
To know your sweetie
Wasn’t squeezin’
Someone else’s hand’
Wouldn’t it be nice
Wouldn’t it be good
To know your love
Had not made love
With half the neighborhood’

Oh! Hasn’t it been hell
Having no success
You wish your baby
Knew more words than
‘open up’
And ‘yes!’

You can warn her once, but
Then she’ll go and do it twice;
She’s everybody’s cherry pie-
But you don’t get a slice;

Makes you wanna chain her up
And pack her down in ice-

Oh, but
That wouldn’t be nice
But wouldn’t it be nice

[Oscar and Phil]
What a thrill
But while Jackie’s fillin’ Oscar
How does po’ Phil feel’

‘Sally Sally Sally, she’s all mine.’
I haven’t heard sally say ‘I love Ma-du-
Line’

Eddie and Mae, ain’t love great’
Ya better watch out, he’s messin’ with
Kate

Don’t it break your heart’
Aintcha got It rough’
You give your tootsie everything
But still it ain’t enough
All the same ya know
She’s gonna come around one day
She’ll vow to love and honor and obey
And never stray
You may be dead and buried by that time
But what the hey!
Hold out for paradise
Stock up on wedding rice
You gotta make her love ya’-
No matter what the price -
Couldn’t it be-
Shouldn’t it be-
Wouldn’t it be-
Nice---!
‘Hotchitzidee!’