Would You Like to Buy an O?

[Intro]
Where a shady character tries to sell Ernie an O
Shhhhh!!!! Don't spread it around, everyone will want one!

(spoken)
The Salesman: Hey, bud

Ernie: Who me?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie: (whispering) Who me?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
(sung)
How would you like to buy an "O"?
Round and neat
A nearly perfect circle
Tidy and complete
You can sing a pretty song
With it like so:
O! O! O!
(spoken)
Isn't that catchy?

Ernie: Ah!

(sung)
The Salesman: Would you like to buy an "O"?
Circular and sweet
"O" looks just like a donut
Really good enough to eat
It'll cost you just a nickel

(spoken)

Ernie: A nickel?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie: (whispering) A nickel?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So buy the "O" and take it home tonight
Now listen. When you buy this "O", you get two sounds for the price of one
You get one sound that you can use for words like "olive," "ostrich," and "ox."
And for no extra money, you get another sound for like "ocean," "over," "old," and "opening."

(sung)
So would you like to buy an "O"?
I'm opening the door
It's not often that I offer
Well, could you ask for more?
It'll cost you just a nickel

(spoken)
Ernie: A nickel?

The Salesman: SHHHHHH!

Ernie: (whispering) A nickel?

The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So buy the "O" and take it home tonight
Don't ask any questions
Just buy the "O" and take it home tonight
You'll really love it
So buy the "O" and take it home tonight