Who I Was

Life is like a memory:
It’s always based on the past
I miss when you had faith in me
I’m sure two years must have passed you by so fast
They say good things will come to those who wait
And I’ve been counting the hours
Your friends avoid me like the plague
You drive great lengths so you don’t go past my house

But I’d be scared to let you in
All the layers underneath are rotten;
Steps you take could break the ground beneath you
And if it’s my fault every time
Am I walking on eggshells or landmines?
How much stretching does it take to reach you?

But you don't even know
Who I am, who I was, it's not your fault
I'm slow to learn, you're quick to judge
I followed all your rules
Save the ones you made up along the way
It’s not enough to change your mind

And I don’t wanna let you down
More than I have to
But everything is different now, I swear
And I’ve already shown you how
If you can’t put it past you
Tell me to my face that you don’t care

And I could tell you everything
But I know it wouldn’t help
These stains are older than you think;
Blood dries and neither of us can wash it out. Maybe I
Ask too much and can’t explain
Why I’m worth trusting this time
I’d say I’ve learned a lot from pain
But I can’t prove that it’s eating me alive

And you’re sure that underneath
All the layers of my skin there’s something
Patient waiting for a chance to use you
And you can’t stand to share this space;
It reminds you of a fool with my face:
One who never learned how not to lose you

And now you don’t even know
Who I am, who I was, it’s not your fault
This vicious cycle never ends
There’s nothing I can do
But at least I can tell you that I’ve tried
It’s not enough to make amends

I know I’m gonna let you down
No matter what, so
I will give it up and face the facts
And I can never show you how
If you don’t look, so
I will state my case behind your back

In spite of all that you do
I would never judge you
I would never shut you out
Don’t act like you don't blame me
Time’s enough to change me
Nothing’s gonna save me now

I wish I could be someone else
To know for a fact that
I would never let you down again
But maybe I don't need your help
Don't call me back if
You don't want to ask me how I've been

And I’ll tell you I’m fine
We do this every time
‘cause some things never change