When I’m Older

[Verse 1: Stefan Abingdon]
When I'm old will I still say shit?
When I'm old will I still look at porn? A little bit
Will I still have sex? Correction
Try and have sex with a flaccid erection
Wearing a dumb cap, doing shitty rap
Maybe I'll be fucking awesome and get papped
Rolling in a Jaguar, popping the Viagra
Fellas are jealous, my ladies make me look like Hefner
I wake up different girl each time
I don't know her name though - Alzheimer's
I wake up different girl each time
Oh shit, I've done the same bit again - Alzheimer's
The Midnight Beast still raise the roof
Still getting clocked for the Tik Tok spoof
Sixty years old, still going strong
I'd still be dancing, but my back's gone

[Chorus]
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
Still get intoxicated
Everyday inebriated
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
Still getting batshit wasted
Then getting resuscitated

[Verse 2: Dru Wakely]
I'm dead. Just kidding!
How else would you hear me, dummy?
I'm an antique, start bidding
The other pensioners look at me funny
'Cause they know I know I'm in town, crashing a party
Back of the club, Horlicks, Bacardi
Never go home, granddaughter isn't happy
Keep going when I fill up my nappy
When I'm old, will I play Donkey Kong?
Sitting in my armchair, sparking a bong
It's for glaucoma, not an addiction
Ask the doctor, it's prescription
When I'm old, will I eat at Hooters?
Pull up getting head on a mobility scooter?
Still playing FIFA, smoking the reefer
Gramps on tour, getting wankered in Beefa

[Chorus]
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
Still get intoxicated, everyday inebriated
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
Still getting batshit wasted, then getting resuscitated

[Verse 3: Ashley Horne]
When I'm old will I still look fly?
Kissing them girls, making them cry?
Still got the guns, still got the eyebrows
What? I'm fit! There's no need to lie, now
Playing bowls, back of the car park
Gambling money, buying chinos in Primark
When I'm old will I still have orgies?
Young women in their early forties?
Half blind, half deaf
The ladies love me, I'm a
G-Y-L-F
Granddad you'd like to (shhh)
Let's have a game of strip chess
The ladies love me cause I
Still got libido, still rocking speedos
Banned from the pool cause I look like a pedo
But I'm not a pedo! I'm honestly not a pedo

[Chorus]
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
Still get intoxicated, everyday inebriated
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
(Na na na na na) When I'm older
Still getting batshit wasted, then getting resuscitated