What Kind of Name is Hermione?

Who’s that girl that’s always first to raise her hand? (I know who)
Her name’s Hermione, and boy, she makes me mad (Ugh, me too)
That girl is ugly, and frumpy, disgusting
Looks like she hasn’t washed her hair in three whole weeks

[spoken:]
You know, what kind of name is Hermione, anyway?
I don’t know, it took me like four years to learn how to pronounce it
She has stupid hair

[sung:]
What kind of name is Hermione?
It makes me think of something whiny (Like cats!)
She’s already in Arithmancy (Uh huh uh huh)
I really hate that she’s smarter than me (Ugh, me too)

Have you heard that her parents are dentists (Dentists?)
That means they pick around in dirty Muggles’ teeth (Ew!)
But she hangs around that gorgeous Harry Potter (I love him!)
And that other redhead boy (What’s his name?)

[spoken:]
Roy?
No, Roger
Ralph?
Ronald?
Oh, who cares?

[sung:]
What kind of name is Hermione? (I don’t know)
It’s a made-up name, I guarantee (Mm hmm mm hmm)
Always sucking up in History
Do you think she stole the answer key? (I bet she did!)

[spoken:]
No wonder she’s so smart
She’s a dirty, rotten cheater!
Ugh, I hate Hermione
Me too!

[sung:]
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermione? (What kind of name, what kind of name, what kind of name)
What kind of name is Hermione? (What kind of name)

That little witch!