What A Remarkable Age This Is!

[ETCHES]
My dear Mr. Latimer
Prepare to greet our clientele
Our meeting is imminent
Our having just rung the dinner bell
It won't be a novelty
We mostly have seen them all before
Prepare for the usual
You should be aware of what's in store...

We've served them on the Baltic
And the Oceanic, Olympic and Majestic
And today's the same
There's nothing changed...

Mr. Astor takes his toast dry
Mrs. Straus likes the grouse
With the sauce on the side
And the Wideners love kidney pie
Bring it hot, if it's not
They'll be fit to be tied

They're accustomed to the best
Of all that money buys
The world of free enterprise
Has given this priv'lege to the rich...

When they're idle
They're entitled to the luxury
Which we provide
That's forever the source of out pride...
Which is why we're always there
With our especial form of care
For evey hungry millionaire
By now they've all arrived...

[1ST CLASS PASSENGERS]
We're sailing aboard the greatest ship
To ever sail the seas
The hull and the keel imperviously
Stronger by degrees

[1ST CLASS WOMEN]
Magnificent crystal chandeliers
Parquet in all the floors

[1ST CLASS PASSENGERS]
The ceiling is Jacobean
A decor the world adores

[SOPRANO & TENOR, ALTO & BASS]
Remarkable ship Oh what a ship!
Remarkable keel Oh what a keel!
Remarkable steel Oh what a ship!

[1ST CLASS PASSENGERS]
If it could be put in a phrase

[ALL (PASSENGERS & STAFF)]
It's "What a remarkable age this is!"

[1ST CLASS MEN]
A fellow's invented see-through film
He calls it "cellophane"

[1ST CLASS PASSENGERS]
Another has built a parachute
For jumping out of an airplane!
Remarkable things flow endlessly
From out the human brain
Indeed

[ALL (PASSENGERS & STAFF)]
And what a remarkable age this is!

[ETCHES]
Keep the Captain's table pristine
Where we seat the elite whom we happily serve
Here they dine on fine French cuisine
It's the creme de la creme's
Exclusive preserve!

It's the pleasure of the leisure class's greatest wits
To be where the Captain sits
When taking their dinner on the sea
Giving deference to their preferences is our chief art
We play our part
In a perfectly working machine

You should ever be aware
This is a privilege great and rare
A special burden that we bear
In our respective lives!

[1ST CLASS MEN]
Remarkable U.S. Steel
Is splitting shares at five to four!
Monopoly makes the industry
Far better than before!

[1ST CLASS WOMEN]
Attending the coronation of
King George the Fifth was grand

[ETCHES]
And afterwards off to Monaco
To frolic in the sand

[SOPRANO & TENOR, ALTO & BASS]
Remarkable talk Oh what a talk!
Remarkable times Oh what a time!
Remarkable world Oh what a world!

[1ST CLASS PASSENGERS]
So much to surprise and amaze
And...

What a remarkable time
What a remarkable world
What a remarkable age...

[ETCHES & STAFF]
The hull and the keel impervious
Magnificent crystal chandeliers
A fellow's invented see-through film
And what a remarkabl age...

[ALL]
This...
Is!