Waiting

She’s off the hook
They took her rook
Her queen is pinned
Her pawns are stuck
Easier to play
There are fewer moves to make
No more pieces left to take
Just shake hands and walk away
But she don’t have the choice to quit
And she don’t have that final say
To let go of everything
Push off her raft and let her bones sink
It’d be better if she didn’t have to think

She is hurting and waiting
And panicking and waiting
And stretching and waiting
And choking and waiting
Thе nurses talk her ears off and trеat her like a baby
When they wipe her when they wash her is she just another lady
Skin and bones in her 80’s

She’s lost the tongue to speak and she’s waiting
She’s lost the right to scream and she’s waiting
Forgotten all her dreams and she’s waiting
She’s shrinking toward the emptiness we run from all our lives
The black and white we see when we’re waiting

That’s not right, that’s not right
She’s still got love in her life
When she looks in my eyes
I know she’s glad to be alive

Memory is all we’ve got but she can’t remember if I visit or not
And who can hear her, her voice is shot
I move in close but can’t read her thoughts
Where will I want to be when I’m waiting
Who will I want to see when I’m waiting
What will love even mean when I’m waiting
What will be left of me when I’m waiting

I don’t want to spend my days disintegrating
Stuff juice in my mouth when I don’t feel like eating
Mind full of ideas I’m not articulating
Being here is degrading when you can’t wait for death and you spend your days waiting

That’s not right, that’s not right
She’s still got love in her life
When she looks in my eyes
I know she’s glad to be alive

Hours days and years pass by
It never feels like enough time
Though she’s ill and asks to die
Each time I leave I can’t say goodbye