V for Virgin

This is for those among us who got enough play though 12th grade to carry in an upside down teaspoon
For every kid who could have counted their high school hookups on two hands tied behind their back
For every kid the collective romantic prowess of Steve Urkel, Al Gore, Richard Simmons, Bill Gates and Screech from Saved by the Bell
This is the anthem for those among us who got none in our formative years
And this poem is for every high school Virgin who wouldn't have had it any other way
You don't know the possibilities of a weekend until you'v cracked a six pack of Juice Squeeze with your boys, bumped B.I.G's Big Poppa and watched an entire Star Trek: The next generation marathon
For me, Virgin was working
And I can see why Trekkies greet each other by throwing up the letter V
Live long and prosper
It's time to reclaim the high school virgin as sexy
I am talking damn that's some sexy peach fuzz sexy
Picked last for kickball sexy
He's so sexy his homework, the laundry and the dishes do themselves around him sexy
I am talking cowlick, house arrest, sweatervest sexy
bedrest, Led Zep air guitar sexy
Pen Pal, study group, buddy system, teddy bear hand-me-downs sweatpants Corduroy sexy
And yes, I am also talking check out the curves on that parabola sexy
But mostly this is regular kid sexy
Brown paper bag, unpopular for the right reasons, what a nice guy sexy
Spends Fridays doing nothing with his friends sexy
Screw your football team sexy
I am talking Big Fat V on my lettermans jacket
Cause I am varsity sexy
So hold your head high in the struggle have pride in the struggle
I can't rock your world, but damn can I cuddle
Girl I wanna lay you down by the fire with a bowl of popcorn and watch Fresh Prince reruns
This is for every kid who couldn't get it, didn't want to get it, or had it and gave it back
So throw your Vs in the ayer if you're a true player
And wave em side to side like you just don't cayer
And for everyone here who was ever a virgin
And for everyone here who's ever loved themself for who they are
Keep your arm towards the sky
And understand that at least one dorky white boy from the 415 knows it's the sexiest arm he's seen in his entire sexy life