Nothing Is For Nothing

This poem is called "Nothing is for Nothing." MMM if you feel it holler when you hear it.

I had been turning tricks longer than I actually knew it
Being whatever they wanted me to be whenever they wanted me to be it
A freak, inside, outside kitchen counters, laundry mats, hotels, motels
And backseats of leased cars, vans and jeeps
Made myself like it cause they liked it and I liked that they liked it
And so I continued being the perfect image of a wet dream
Nasty, wild, exotic, erotic, freak was they wanted so freak was who I was
And everybody was walking around talking about me
Like teenage pregnancy wasn't becoming synonymous with being black and woman
Like America wasn't suffocating our thoughts
Like there was nothing to talk about what was doing or screwing
And I thought the whole damn thing was ridiculous, which it was
"Cause I was content giving my men a little heaven between their struggle to breathe and their contemplation of suicide
Wasn't I good for the cause?
Closed mind, open legs, making niggas forget why they're so damn angry
Wasn't I good?
Then the mood swung as well the tempo and I became an ideal
So they want her pretty and docile, caring and stupid
And there I was on your Mark, Seth, Joe, and I was Suzy Homemaker on the hunt for love
Cooking and cleaning, ironing, faithful and a freak cause that's what they liked
And I liked being what they liked so that's what I was
A prostitute, selling my soul for emotional gain
Struggling not to be the third generation of lonely women in my family
Struggling to gain but gaining nothing but confusion, frustration, illusion
Cause there was no love, just empty condom wrappers on the floors to be discarded like me.
A prize performer long before I actually knew it too, cause I was faking me out of the me. I would become...
The me that I see now
The me that holds onto herself with both hands and all feet
The me who must have love and give it
The me who brings more to the table than good looks and a wet hole
The me that is confident, and intelligent and filled to the brim with respect for me
And a freak cause that's what I like
And I like being what I like
And what I like is all a part of what I am.