Up To You

[Verse 1]
She was my queen
I would've given everything
Just to be with her forever
But You took her from me
My God
Just tell me why You had to
I’m begging please
Lord!
Why don't You ever answer?

These shattered dreams of mine
Can they ever be forgotten?
Or will I live my life
A dead man walking with this burden?
When will I smile again?
A smile that's not pretend?
Or is this the end for me?
(Being happy)

[Chorus 1]
Coz I don’t know where I'm going now
I'm trying to breathe
But don't know how
Lord did You just leave me here to die?
Because I don't know what to do

I'm trying to stand
But I'm too weak
Too broken to get back on my feet
Before I give up
I give it all up to You

[Verse 2]
Lord take my pain
Take all my suffering
I'm calling Your name
I offer You this bleeding and broken frame
I don’t have anything left to give You
Save my life
(Oh this broken life)

[Chorus 2]
I don’t know where I'm going now
I’m trying to breathe
Just don't know how
I know You didn't leave me here to die
But I still don't know what to do

I’m trying to stand
But I'm too weak
Too broken to get back on my feet
Before I give up
I give it all up to You

[Bridge: Fr. Mike Schmitz]
One of the big mysteries of life is: why do we suffer?
Like if God loves us, why do we suffer?
Maybe you can't get out of bed
Or you can't get out of a wheelchair
Maybe you're in the middle of this crisis
And there seems to be no escape
And it hasn't just gone on for a day
Or for a week
Or for a year
But it's gone on for 10 years
It's gone on for 20 years
And your suffering just does not make sense
It's in this moment that we have to understand
What Jesus really came to do with suffering
Jesus on the Cross makes no sense
But that's how God redeemed the world
By taking on a body
And suffering in and through that body
He entered into the emptiness that we feel
He entered into what feels like abandonment
He enters into betrayal
He enters into absolute loneliness
He enters into a tomb
Jesus descended to Hell
There is no depth that Christ hasn't gone
There's no amount of suffering that He didn't endure
Not to take it away
But to redeem it
To transform it
And now as a Christian He invites you into it
Again he doesn't invite you out of suffering
He invites you into it
So that you and I can participate
In His redemptive work of the world
Jesus extends to us a sliver of His Cross
So that we can become co-workers with Him
That we could actually be co-redeemers with Jesus
Not because He needs it
But because He's extending that dignity to us
He's extending that grace to us
He's extending that opportunity to us
That when you feel you're most weak
When you feel absolutely powerless
When you feel completely foolish
There's nothing left to give
That even in that moment
Jesus Christ can make you strong
Not because He takes away the suffering
But because He transforms it
And this is the secret of basically every single saint
Suffering without Jesus just hurts
And all of us are gonna suffer
But suffering united to Jesus
Suffering with Jesus
Having our particle, our sliver of the Cross
In knowing that, that means we're close to Jesus on the Cross
Suffering with Jesus can change the world
You may be in the midst of suffering
My invitation... and I know it's hard
I know it's difficult
My invitation to you
Is to bring it to the Lord on the Cross and say
"Lord, for You"
Let me offer this suffering for You
Let me offer this suffering with You
In suffering with You
Let this weakness now have power
Let this thing that seems like it doesn't make sense
Let it have meaning
And let that meaning be:
The world is redeemed
By my joining my suffering...
... to Yours Lord

[Coda]
So even when I'm lost in pain
And I don't know what to do
I will look to Your cross
Give me faith
I'll pull through
While this storm rages
I'll give it all up to You