Twisted Medley (Live)

[JOE W, spoken]
In 2013, Starkid Productions produced the first ever live-action Disney re-make. It was the basis for the 2019 live-action Disney re-make, 'Aladdin.' Our graphics were pretty good, but the music was better. With music and lyrics by A.J. Holmes and Kaley McMahon, I am of course referring to 'Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier.'

[JIM]
Caked. In. Mud or drenched in blood

[JIM & ALEX]
You smell as fresh as a flower

[JOE W, spoken]
I guess

[ENSEMBLE]
But no one remembers Achmed

[ROBERT]
You can pleasure sixty concubines in only an hour

[JOE W, spoken]
Less!

[ENSEMBLE]
But no one remembers Achmed

[JOE W]
Back home I was a hero
Ladies trembled when I spoke
But here the women treat me
Like a throwaway joke

[ENSEMBLE]
Throw him away...

[JOE W & ENSEMBLE]
I'm a God on Earth but darn it (ooh)
Even deities incarnate (ooh)
Now and then can feel a little insecure (insecure)

[JOE]
All I want is some affection
This rejection's almost too much to endure!

[ENSEMBLE]
To endure, look at all he must endure

[JOE W, spoken]
Am I not a thing of beauty?! Don't you want a piece of this? Wouldn't you happily give up all of your worldly possessions just to greet me when I come home from a one-sided massacre and bathe my sweaty, bloody body with your tongue?

[ENSEMBLE]
You. Ooze, Sex when you flex
Those impeccable pecs

[JOE W]
But the princess rejects me still
She may not love me yet
But I'm willing to bet
That once I kill all her people
She will!

[ENSEMBLE]
Yes she will
Yes she absolutely will!

[JOE W]
Let them laugh, that's just fine
But the last laugh will be mine

[ALL]
'Cause they can't laugh when they're all dead
I'll make them all regret the day they chose to forget

[JOE W]
What's that name everyone?

[ENSEMBLE]
Tiger lover!

[JOE W, spoken]
No!

(sung)
Like I said, what's that name?

[ENSEMBLE]
You're the cock of the walk
With abs as hard as a rock
Nevermore will they mock you Achmed!

[ROBERT]
He porked a tiger!

[JOE W, spoken]
I did NOT pork a tiger!
I did not pork a tiger

[ENSEMBLE & JOE W]
They'll remember Achmed! (That is a disgusting, angry, rumour)
They'll remember Achmed! (It's rude, it's upsetting, I would never harm an animal)
They'll remember Achmed! (Oh I can't stay mad at you guys)

[JOE W]
They'll remember me!

[ENSEMBLE]
Tiger lover, tiger lover
Achmed is a tiger lover
They'll remember Achmed
The tiger loving man!

[JOE W, spoken]
What?

[BRITNEY]
I know a thousand tales
To fill a thousand nights
But now another story comes to mind
A noble, young vizier
Ascends to wonderous heights
He's brilliant as he's handsome
And handsome as he's kind

[CARLOS]
She is at once a comfort and a mystery
To the callow man she meets that fateful day
She's beautiful and wise
And something in her eyes
Beckons him to know her
And inspires him to say

[CARLOS & BRITNEY]
I want to know your story (I want to know your story)
I want to know your past (I want to know your past)
So tell me slowly from the start (one thousand and one crazy nights)

[CARLOS]
Leave out no detail
Savour every part

[BRITNEY & CARLOS]
I want to know your story (I want to know your story)
So make the story last (so make the story last)
I want to know each twist and turn (each twist and turn)
Tell me all I've missed, I've so much to learn (ooh)

[BRITNEY & CARLOS]
I never cared for stories
Until you entered mine
But now my only wish is that
Our plots may intertwine

[DYLAN]
And with my wife beside me
My failures will be absolved
The world will be a paradise
With all it's problems solved
We'll retire to some far off place
And share an itty-bitty living space
A humble yet cosy abode

[DYLAN, RACHAEL & JEFF]
Where we can write our own happy ending
(I want everything and more)(I steal everything)
We'll get our happy ending
(meaning everything)
And that happy ending starts
(I want everything)(I steal everything)

[DYLAN, RACHAEL & JEFF]
Tonight!