Turtle Sex

[Verse]
I woke up one morning, yeah
And there was a beautiful day outside
I walked outside of my garage
And you won't believe what I saw, yeah
I saw a turtle hump another turtle
And I was like "How the fuck are there turtles in my outside porch"
*laughter*
Um, I- *laughter*
Turtle sex, yeah, turtle sex
I saw s- turtles (*laughter*), sex
Yeah (*laughter*)
I was like "Why are there turtles in my garage"
I hold thе turtles, move them apart, I was likе "Hey!" (*laughter*)
"Why the fuck are you humping in my front porch, you better get outta here, son"
And then the turtle, fuckin'-
I chucked the turtle
And chucked the other one too
I saw the turtles
I saw something that I will never forget
I saw turtle sex-

[Outro]
Nah, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done