Trade Up

I'm talking to you at this literary party
A decaf cappuccino in my hand
You are puffing on a thick cigar
Is it a Monte Cristo or contraband?

I'm expounding on the state of the art
As you take another puff
But your eyes dart here
And your eyes dart there
As you're trying to trade up

There's gotta be someone more important than me
That you could be talking to here
Someone who knows someone who knows someone
Who knows someone who could bolster your career

I know the body language
I see the signs
Your eyes give it away
And so do your lines
You nod and say 'uh-huh' from time to time
As you're trying to trade up

An hour later someone new is talking to me
He thinks I know something that I probably don't
Pumping me for some unlisted number
Will I divulge it? No, I won't

He's expounding on the state of the world
I'm sipping wine from a paper cup
But my eyes dart here
And my eyes dart there
'cause I'm trying to trade up

There's gotta be someone more important than you
That I could be talking to here
Someone who knows someone who knows someone
Who knows someone who could bolster my career

Look at my body language
I'm flashing signs
My eyes have glazed over
I'm ignoring your lines
But I sip and say 'uh huh'
From time to time
As I'm trying to trade up
(I'm sorry)
I'm trying to trade up

Looking at both sides of this equation
Either way it's an awkward situation
Everybody's climbing
Trying not to be rude
Though some say they're just here for the free food

Choppedliverchickensataysteameddumplingsspanikopidaskipperedherringgarlicpepperssouvalaki
Mangochutneyblackenedcatfishempanadasfritomistosnapperhashtiramisuguacamole

I'm in the elevator leaving the party
A half dozen macaroons in my purse
As these things go
It was OK
I've been to better
I've been to worse

Out on the street an old man is begging
I stuff a single dollar into his tin cup
He rolls his eyes
Grabs the bill and he sighs
He's still trying to trade up
God bless him
He's still trying to trade up

There will always be someone more important than me
That you could be talking to here
Someone who knows someone who knows someone
Who knows someone who could bolster your career

Look at the body language
Study the signs
Stare into their eyes
Read between every line
If they nod and say 'uh huh'
One too many times
They're trying to trade up

I said look at the body language
Study the signs
Stare into their eyes
Read between every line
If they nod and say 'uh-huh'
One too many times
They're trying to trade up
'uh huh'
They're trying to trade up
'uh-huh'
We're all trying to trade up