Today I Met Myself

I get the petrol don't forget to buy a couple of sweets

Sometimes I like to treat myself if only once a week

Open the door, get in the car, sit in the driverís seat

Peer into the rearview mirror and im staring back at me

When I say me I don't mean me as in my own reflection

Hardly slept so I suspect im staring at some weird projection

My brain has made to tell me alcohol abuse is wrong

Whereupon, I turn around and realise somethings going on:

Trust me son, this ain't a con, you have to trust your eyeballs

Know those eyes are fine because they're mine so don't be stifled

You're slightly balder now and yes your pubes are turnin grey

But you've travelled back in time cos there's important shit to say

Don't do that (nope) / they'll try to dupe ya

Don't do this (nah) / they'll try to shoot ya

Don't do her (grim!) / she didn't suit ya

Today I met myself and I told me bout my future

So im sat in the front and sat in the back, as you do havin a chat

Asking bout the change in rap and where the musics at

I'm careful not to tell myself entirely everything

I've come here just to warn me as to what the future brings:

Oi, Listen, El, surely you can see that you're me

I'm you, look at the lips, you really can't ignore me

I know that in that bag there's ginger beer and curly-wurlys

It's kinda hurly burly but you must believe my story

I know you tasted glory, was all hunky dory

Now you're standing on the borderline, today's the day your sure to find

You don't know where to draw the line, this is the start of your decline

That's why I came back exactly 15 years before your sordid crime

Don't do that (nope) / they'll try to dupe ya

Don't do this (nah) / they'll try to shoot ya

Don't do her (grim!) / she didn't suit ya

Today I met myself and I told me bout my future

Freakin out, I been sneakin bout

Feelin edgy bout the fact that I've seeked me out

Im freakin out, I been sneakin bout

And I've sat inside my car and started speakin bout

What's yet to come

It seems most of what the future has to hold for me is decent

But recently my future self was caught having a threesome

One of the girls was underage with fake identification

The other one was legal but her father's occupation

Was head of a group of hoodlums from just south of the Thames

The entire episode was captured from a hidden lens

They found some substances inside the glove box of my car

So I'm front page of the sun, the mirror and the daily star

I'm either goin down for twenty or thugs are out to get me

My walls are bout to crumble which is why I went and sent me

Back in time, prevent the crime, avoid Jane and Amy

It seems my future selfís a prick but really who can blame me

Don't do that (nope) / they'll try to dupe ya

Don't do this (nah) / they'll try to shoot ya

Don't do her (grim!) / she didn't suit ya

Today I met myself and I told me bout my future