Tightrope

I could feel my heart sink
I had been pushed to the brink

Losing this conflict was all I could handle
I thought my world was ending
But it was only expanding
It wasn’t the emotion I thought I’d expect
“This won’t happen” was engrained in my head

My absence was always my escape
I wasn’t in the best place
You’re owed memories I can’t restore
Not stories of wayfare and folklore

My undivided attention was served in seconds
For you I had to mend them
The best parts of me were beckoning

I swallowed my fears
I’m so grateful you’re here
The last two years
Would have been unbearable without you there

I thought I bided my time too long
It turns out the timing was perfect
In the end the weight was all worth it
The brightness guided me through the fog
A constant beam of light that set my course right

I had taken on too much
It took over me
Longing for what I had when I was young
I had taken on too much
My responsibilities are choking me

Setting boundaries for myself
I’m the one who keeps walking all over them
Creating limits for abuse
I’m the one leaving myself battered and bruised

Where is my incentive
To find my healing?

I let misery be my motivator
I could sense myself slip into this crater
I’ll only be one thing forever
I’ll slide the scales back to the center
The agony and anguish were just all part of the endeavor