Three Inch Tool

Little me, my nuts are small as pearls
You like to laugh at me 'cause I'm hung just like a squirrel
Sometimes it bugs me, I'm not a bigger guy
When I was a baby, I was exactly the same size
But there's nothin' I can do
'Cause I only got a three-inch tool

Come home with me, have a cocktail at my place
I gotta tell you before we get past second base
In my pants ain't no big schwing
But if you can find him he's a friendly little thing

But there's nothin' I can do
I only got a three-inch tool
When I'm comin' out of the pool
I only got a one-inch tool

Sometimes I wonder if it'll ever extend
I get embarrassed when I'm hangin' with my friends
They like to razz me, I don't know why
They get me a Happy Meal and super-size my fry

And there's nothin' I can do
I only got a three-inch tool
When I'm comin' out of the pool
I only got a one-inch tool
Yeah it's small but it's real cool
I'm happy with a three-inch tool
I only got a three-inch tool