There’s Money On That Tree

[SPIKER, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls- roll on up and see the eighth wonder of the world! Just one shilling to see the world's largest peach!

[JAMES, spoken]
Aunties, there are reporters at the gate!

[SPIKER & SPONGE, spoken]
Reporters? Bring 'em on!

[REPORTERS]
Readers of The Morning Star
Don't know who you are but they will
(You got something notable, so give me something quotable!)
Tell the Herald all the juice
Exclusives get more cachеt!
Girls, what would you say
To an exposé?

[SPIKER & SPONGE, spoken]
Okay!

[GARDEN GUILD]
Meet the ladies' gardеn guild
We're humbled and thrilled to be here
(We're here to salute that fabulous fruit!)
Join our conference end of May
We'll pay you ten thousand each
If you'll give the keynote speech
On that giant peach!

[SPIKER & SPONGE, spoken]
Yes, yes, yes!

[COMPANY]
'Cause there's money, money, money
On that tree

[REPORTERS]
Tell my editor what I just heard
Bet he offers me a pound per word

[COMPANY]
Money, money, money
On that tree
Can't you see
All the money on that tree!

[JAMES, spoken]
A helicopter just landed- they say they're from Hollywood!

[SPIKER & SPONGE, spoken]
Hollywood? Bring 'em on!

[BUZZ & AGENTS]
Love it! Work it! Let's get rich!
They greenlit my pitch for your show!
They're gonna flip on the sunset strip!
Shoot it! Air it! Rave reviews!
You're oozing with mass appeal
Girls, how would you feel
With a three-pic deal?

[SPIKER & SPONGE, spoken]
Yes, please!

[COMPANY]
Hey, there's money, money, money
On that tree

[BUZZ, spoken]
Baby, everything you heard is true. Life is marvelous in Malibu!

[COMPANY]
Money, money, money
On that tree
Can't you see
All the money on that tree!

[SPIKER & SPONGE]
Why work hard? Why work hard? (Hey! Yeah!)
You just need a seed and a big backyard
Why get jobs? (Who needs a job?)
Or stay in school? (Drop out of school!)
La-lee-la, you lumpish lawyers!
All your walls of PhDs
What a waste, they've been debased
'Cause money grows on trees!

[REPORTERS]
So skip that tiny print
Let's make a deal and make a mint

[GARDEN GUILD]
Just sign the line on every 'x' (Money...)
And you'll receive those weekly checks

[AGENTS]
And if your films don't get the go (Money...)

[BUZZ]
We'll throw you in some Broadway show!

[ENSEMBLE]
Sweetie, baby, cookie, honey
Show me the peach!

[COMPANY]
'Cause there's money, money, money
On that tree

[SPIKER & SPONGE]
We can finally forget our cares
We're gonna be gajillionaires!

[COMPANY]
Money, money, money
On that tree
Can't you see
All the money on that-
All the money on that-

[SPIKER & SPONGE]
Tree!

[ENSEMBLE & SPIKER/SPONGE]
Money, yeah!
Money, yeah! (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me)

[COMPANY]
Oh, there's money on that-
Money on that-
Money on that-
Tree! (I got the money!)