The Whoosie Song

[Intro]
(Damn)
(Damn)
(Damn)
(Damn)

[Verse 1]
Yo, you seen a girl about 5 foot 7 and a half
Blondish hair, green eyes walk past? (Damn)
Well, if not then you missed me, pissin' your pants
I'm making you dance, groupies yelling out chants (Damn)
K period Flay, short and sweet
Like a midget made from a honeybee (Damn)
But this chicken ain't itchin' to buzz, buzz
I don't appreciate when you make a fuss, fuss (Damn)
Intimidation of the goddamn cops
This is incrimination, please make it stop (Damn)
I'm on the stand and I plead the fifth
Haters wanna prosecute this chick, well (Damn)
My name is Kristine Meredith, I am swearing it
On a bible straight from God (Damn)
I'm the real deal, brand new, still sealed
Mint condition, do you me feel? (Damn)
I'll beat your ass if you come too close
If you really must grind, go find a post (Damn)
First in the bubble, respect it, sir
Or you'll be in trouble, expect it, sir (Damn)
I lift weights and my biceps will crush you
You can't escape this muscle tissue (Damn)
So my advice is to check yourself
Think hotel room real fast, zoom zoom (Damn)
Speedy Gonzales be stealin' your wallets
I'm pleading, I'm fallin', emergency callin'

[Chorus]
Get your whoosie all tied up, all fried up
Get your whoosie all sick as shit
Get your whoosie real turned around
When you hear the sound of this beat go down
Keep that whoosie up, keep that whoosie to yourself
Make that whoosie jump, put that whoosie on the shelf
I got my whoosie and I'm not that choosy
Please excuse me, go and sue me if you truly disapprove of me

(Damn)
(Damn)

[Verse 2]
I'm rated M for mature emcee
I'm the cure for the suburban rap void (Damn)
North Shore, what, what, let's raise it up
Toast to me with a can of LaCroix (Damn)
Don't be a-feared of the message I'm bringing
Don't be too scared of my bling-bling (Damn)
Oh, but these zirconiums are nothing but cubic
My ice is an illusion and I can prove it (Damn)
You gon' flee the scene in a white Bronco
Like a mob boss, I'm the head honcho (Damn)
Hella fellas don't be jealous like Spice Girls
I'm oregano, men can't say no (Damn)
But I jest and I digress and I
Refuse to wear that dress (Damn)
Baggy sweatpants work so well
Tight clothes equal my personal hell (Damn)
What, you think it's fun havin' jeans glued to you?
Tryna get a guy to decide to screw you (Damn)
Get a clue and if you can't play the board game
Revolver in the parlor room, Plum's insane (Damn)
Go on and get a belt 'cause your crack is showing
Say no to drugs when you be get-lowing (Damn)
I got a couple complaints to file
Stuff 'em full of Paxil, keep 'em smiling (Damn)
Obedience is do what your told
Only sip my water when it's ice cold

[Chorus]
Get your whoosie all tied up, all fried up
Get your whoosie all sick as shit
Get your whoosie real turned around
When you hear the sound of this beat go down
Keep that whoosie up, keep that whoosie to yourself
Make that whoosie jump, put that whoosie on the shelf
I got my whoosie and I'm not that choosy
Please excuse me, go and sue me if you truly disapprove of me

(Damn)
(Damn)

[Verse 3]
This right here's history in the making
Guinness Book of Records for booty-shaking (Damn)
Earth is quaking, hurricane
A natural disaster, must rap faster (Damn)
Like a robot, redefine hip-hop
Minus droptops and a crisp bop, and a beatbox (Damn)
I'm only 19, alcohol's off-limits
And you know I never smoke weed like Xzibit (Damn)
Come and get it, all you people, I'm on top like a steeple
On my tippy, tippy, tippy toes, striking a seductive pose (Damn)
What's my job? Give me room to occupate
Hand over the scalpel, I must operate (Damn)
Doctor skree, erra-er to that, erra-er to this, erra-er right back
I'm a smooth criminal, criminal
Message is subliminal, subliminal
We got a 911 situation
An epidemic sweeping across the nation (Damn)
People getting ill from my sick music
Puking up my lyrics, please excuse it (Damn)
Talking to Ralph on the big white telephone
555, Miss Flay ain't home

[Chorus]
Get your whoosie all tied up, all fried up
Get your whoosie all sick as shit
Get your whoosie real turned around
When you hear the sound of this beat go down
Keep that whoosie up, keep that whoosie to yourself
Make that whoosie jump, put that whoosie on the shelf
I got my whoosie and I'm not that choosy
Please excuse me, go and sue me if you truly disapprove of me

[Outro]
Word up to grandma
Daddy, dada, whoosie, whatsie
Outback Steakhouse
Outback Steakhouse
Not popping pills, I'm paying bills
Just keepin' fresh and stayin' chill